Bed shopping

A few weeks ago, Kel and I went bed shopping. Our old bed was a hand-me-down from some dear friends who sold all their stuff and moved without jobs because it was God’s plan for them and are now doing awesome (so if that isn’t a testimony, I dont’ know what is, but we’re not here to have church, we’re here to talk about the Serta iComfort and Furniture Kingdom Gainesville fl.)

Apparently, the best way to try out beds when you’re bedshopping is to lay on many, many beds. Which is kind of awkward, right? Like, oh, hai, I’m just laying here on this bed pretending like I’m falling asleep, which is my most vulnerable state. I don’t mind if you watch, Mr. Salesman, you perv.

Oh, that’s totally awkward. If you can’t read, it says, “For whatever you do in bed, Sealy supports it.” Gah, the bed industry, what a bunch of sickos. Brilliant, perverted sickos

Some places just sold beds. Other places, like Furniture Kingdom Gainesville fl and Leonards, sold furniture and accessories. Like this one..

And these lovely fake white cats, for the people who like the look of cats, but don’t like to clean litter boxes, and frankly, I don’t blame them.

And how about this one….perfect for all the people who attempt to attend dinner parties at your home wearing nothing but a bow tie and a smile. Sorry, folks, you have to be wearing your shirt, shoes and pants….bow tie is optional (but preferred.)

Finally, we found it….the bed we’d be dreaming about:

The Serta iComfort. I mean, how can you not love it? Soft, supportive, perfect for canoodling with your lover.

Oh, I’m sorry bed advertisement model people, did we interrupt your intimate moment with our bed shopping for the Serta iComfort? Our bad.

I see….us thrashing back and forth violently in the the sample bed below you to make sure one doesn’t feel the other one turn over clearly isn’t bothering you. Go ahead, Mrs. Bed Advertisement Model, continue stroking Mr. Bed Advertisement Model’s leg while you gaze at one another romantically. We’ll just try to ignore it.

Then we went to Furniture Kingdom, Gainesville fl ‘s low-cost furniture store with the goofy advertisements. Is there one city in the entire country without a store like this? I think not.

Furniture Kingdom Gainesville fl is ruled by a king who rules over his warehouse.

The king of Furniture Kingdom Gainesville Fl  is protected by this tiny knight who also holds his toilet paper.

The king of Furniture Kingdom Gainesville Fl is clearly an avid and accomplished hunter, as witnessed by the bear head hung on the wall (yours for just $150!!)

Nope. Absolutely not. We cannot buy this and put it over our bed. Keep dreaming, Kel.

This is the bed frame we ended up buying. Imagine it on a gray colored wall instead of cornflower blue pegboard. The king of Furniture Kingdom Gainesville Florida needs to fire his Royal Interior Designer. Or maybe ugly walls are part of the reason the prices are so low.

The bed and frame were ordered from different places. The bed arrived a week later and was delivered and set up by the lovely delivery people of MattressTown USA (Imagine Justin Timberlake saying, “Bring it on down to Mattress TOOWWWNNN…”)

The bed frame we ordered from Furniture Kingdom Gainesville Fl arrived 12 days after we ordered it. We almost cancelled the order due to impatience, but the sales rep called and told us his gracious King offered “free delivery” (a savings of $80!) for our troubles. When the delivery folks brought the new bed frame in, they said they couldn’t do setup — the king of Furniture Kingdom Gainesville Fl ordered that the bed frame was to be DELIVERED ONLY, and underscored his edict with green highlighter. Oh, that crazy king!

Anyway, I’ve been sleeping better for the past 3 weeks than I have…..probably in years. The Serta iComfort is a keeper and I’m totally glad we upgraded.