Celebrity Roundup: I like that old time 2000s pop

Oh, folks, it’s Friday. You’d think a girl who just finished a 16 day staycation wouldn’t need a weekend to “relax”, but I do. Hey, this girl likes to relax. Britney Spears quit x factor.

The big news in our house this week is our brand new alarm system. We signed the papers last Friday after two hours with the sales rep who dropped “yeah your kid might get kidnapped”, “if your batteries in the system die, sleep with a gun”, and “we dont’ mess around with carbon monoxide because if we do, you’re dead.” Comforting, right? And probably the reason he drives a Caddy.

Now I’m terrified to open any door because it might trip the sensor. It happened yesterday and I got this:

If that’s not enough to make you want to never leave your house, well I don’t know what will.

Anyway, on to the gossip! I feel like I’m back in 1998 again. It’s what happens anytime Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears are simultaneously in the news. Just one mention and I’m all, “I’m a high school senior!” and “Bye Bye Bye!” and “LYLAS, have fun in college!”

Did Britney Spears quit X factor?

After a whole season and a $15 million paycheck, Britney Spears quit X factor this week. TMZ broke the story with their “unimpeachable sources” and honestly, I believe anything and everything TMZ says. The rumor in December was that Britney Spears would be fired due to her low energy judging — TPTB were looking for “crazy Britney” and they got “sedated Britney”. Some believe her personal problems in 2007 caused her to become increasingly media-shy, and the live show fizzled, which caused Britney Spears quit X factor.

Now sources are saying Britney Spears quit X factor to focus on her music, although she loves the show and “likes” Demi Lovato. Apparently, she’s in the studio right now working on her 8th album with Will.i.am and some producer named Hit-Boy, which…..no. Anyway. The source also told TMZ what we all need in our lives, especially all the 30 somethings that used to rock out to Britney in the clurbs. Better start your concerts early, Britney. I need to be home by 11 because I have to work the next day. And now, it looks like she might be in talks to headline in Vegas — perfect place for those same 30 somethings to take a trip and relive their glory days!

Maybe she can go on tour with Justin Timberlake and really bring back the Good Ol Days. Yeah, that’s right, good ol Justin Timberlake may be releasing a new album as well in 2013. Justin Timberlake released a one minute video on YouTube explaining why he’s been gone (“Because nobody really cares”) and why he’s coming back (“Boredom; need money to buy my own private island”) The video includes a countdown clock set to expire Sunday at midnight. Part of me wants it to be a new single, but the other part of me doesn’t want to feel even older than I already do.

Oh, yeah, and Beyonce and her Destiny’s Child crew are also putting out a new tune this year — the group’s first in 8 years. Maybe Beyonce will actually carry this baby herself instead of getting a musical surrogate.

Alright, ONE. And. DONE!

• Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber are through. Again. For real this time you guys!
• Wonder if you should get back together with your ex? Here is an infographic that breaks it down, Taylor Swift style.  (I’m looking at you, Selena.)
• Academy award noms are out (nom nom!) and chances are, you probably haven’t seen half of them. Here are a few movie posters as we see them in our minds.
• Taylor Swift’s latest relationship with One Direction bad boy Harry Styles is over after about two months.
• Taylor Swift and Harry Styles broke up because she wouldn’t put out and also loves antiques and is also a 60 year old woman.
• Lady GaGa and Perez Hilton are fighting! Earthham has the deets, y’all.
• Lindsay Lohan was captured on audio screaming at her porn-start-turned-legit-actor costar to “do [his] job”. Like show up for work not drunk? I think you need to take your own advice, Lindsay.
• Demi Lovato has made the sober house her permanent address. It’s probably for the best.
• Nicki Minaj and Mariah Carey had it out in front of a live audience and members of the press during a junket for American Idol. The first of many!
• Kate Middleton’s official portrait was revealed and apparently she’s 70% hair.
• Golden Globes are Sunday! Check out Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s Golden Globes Drinking Game.
• CNN gives us 10 reasons we can’t get enough of Ryan Gosling. Probably because he’s amazing, as evidenced by these 3 clips from his Jimmy Kimmel interview. HE BOUGHT ALL THE GIRL SCOUT COOKIES FROM A TROOP OUTSIDE A STORE. It’s not even fair to other men.