The following is a humorous recollection of how we weaned our toddler from his pacifier. Hopefully you will stumble on this post when you’re deep in pacifier weaning hell and find some comfort and humor in the situation. This too shall pass, Mama.
September 6. 0100 hours.
Target is up and crying after falling soundly asleep with his pacifier in his mouth. A quick glance on the monitor shows us that he’s standing up in his crib with one pacifier in his mouth and one pacifier in his hand. For the love…. Why is he up? What could he possibly..? No, I got him last time. It’s your turn. I have to work too! No excuse, compadre, feet on the floor and tell that child it’s not party time. Go. GO!
September 6. 1800 hours.
Hub and I have decided its time to get rid of the pacifier. Target doesn’t use it any other time but to sleep, anyway. Our goal was to wean him from the pacifier by 2 years old because old habits die hard. I’d rather do it now and deal with a few days of screaming than hearing him plead and beg for his pacifier trough the monitor using real words. Told Target that he’s a big boy now and didn’t need that pacifier ( pacifiers are for little babies and he’s a grown up toddler.) Described the paci fairy and how she takes old pacifiers and gives them to new babies. Target smiled and threw some raisins at us. I think he understands. Probably. Maybe.
September 8. 2000 hours.
Day one of Operation No Paci. Getting the target ready for his first pacifier free night. He seems to suspect nothing. Hub took the pacifiers and hid them in an unknown location. Target glances into his crib and gives me the side eye. It’s possible he’s on to us.
September 8. 2030 hours.
He definitely suspects something. Sat down to rock the target to sleep and he said, “ababa abac booh ruuuuu mama mama dadda!” (Loosely translated: “what. The. Hell. Where is my pacifier. This is not funny.”) Target is currently throwing a holy fit.
September 8. 2200 hours.
Target is finally asleep.
September 9. 2000 hours.
Day three of Operation No Pacifier. Target realizes his pacifier is gone. Very unhappy. Letting us know in the loudest possible way. I leave the general area to clean my face from the blood from my busted eardrums. Finally falls asleep after throwing everything in his crib at the door while Hub and I hunker down in our bedroom and pray for the siege to end.
September 10. 0630 hours.
OMG. Target is rebelling by getting up extremely early in the morning. This battle is turning into a full-out war of wills. I believe the target has truly underestimated his mother — the woman who used to get up in the middle of the night to pump breast milk instead of supplementing with formula only because she was stubborn. Oh yes, there is no way he’ll win this one.
September 10. 2200 hours.
Target continues to throw epic tantrums for more than an hour after bedtime. WHAT HAVE WE DONE? In desperation for this Operation to work, I am sitting in the recliner next to him while he feel asleep. Seems to be working. Oh, thank GOD, he’s asleep. No, nevermind — he just raised his head up to see if I was still sitting next to him. This is going to be a tough nut to crack. I think he got his stubbornness from his mama. Well played, child of mine…well played.
September 11. 2000 hours.
Hub and I regrouped for tonight’s Operation No Paci. It’s day four, and we have noticed small advances in the operation. Plus, he’s exhausted from all that screaming and being mad at us. Decided to use his love of books against him. Read “Mater’s Tall Tales“; “Moody Moose Buttons” (appropriate); and “If You Give a Pig a Party” to the target. He seems to be drifting off.
One more — “There’s a Wocket in my Pocket.” HE’S OUT!
September 12. 2000 hours.
I’m writing this with all my crossables crossed. Here’s what happened on Operation No Paci day 5: Got cozy with Target in the recliner and read one book. Turned off the lights and snuggled. Placed him carefully in his bed. Tiptoed out. Shut the door oh-so-silently. Silence. I think it worked! So far, so good.
September 22. 2000 hours.
Operation No Paci is a success. In a matter of 5 days, we weaned Target from his pacifier. He doesn’t seem to miss it — not even on the ride back from Disney. He falls asleep quickly after one book. As an added bonus, I get to read him books! It’s not easy, but weaning him from his pacifier was not impossible.
Now if we can only get him to eat chicken…
Did you have trouble weaning your little one from the pacifier?