Happy Friday! This Roundup is coming to you from the comfort of my living room with the sounds of “OH TOODLES” playing in the background…
What? She’s home AGAIN? Does she ever work? What is wrong with that woman?
I can’t shut up about all my days off in the next month, so why would I not mention it here? Yeah, remember I was also home last week to take care of my Wee One, but this week, nobody is sick. My sister is coming in to visit and we have a fun weekend planned. And, ok, YES it’s true that the babysitter was out of town today and closed down the shop, but I probably would have taken today off anyway. Fall break? Don’t mind if I do! Two weeks in a row off work? Pinch me, I might be dreaming. It’s like a fairytale come true…
Speaking of fairytales, we had another lux dream celebrity wedding last week between Mr. Justin Timberlake and Miss Jessica Biel. The on-again-off-again couple said “I Do”
for life until they get divorced in a fairytale wedding in Southern Italy, announced basically an hour after I hit publish on the Roundup of course. Following the outdoor cocktail party with fireworks (natch) the couple said “I Do” in front of 150 of their closest friends — some of who were flown to Germany first so they wouldn’t know exactly where they were going (AhemTimbalandAhem).
Justin capped off the evening serenading his new bride with a song he wrote just for the occasion..well of course he did. Just like thousands of girls dreamed he’d do when they imagined their weddings to the NSYNC star.
The talk of the wedding was her dress…oh, that dress. The custom designed pink and white Giambattista Valli gown was what People described as “whimsical”…as in, something a 16-year-old would wear to a themed “Whimsical Fantasy Romance” prom. She also reportedly donned $105,000 diamond earrings to complete her look. Rich people problems….
The newly minted Timberlakes took advantage of all that wealth by paying homeless people in L.A. to tape their well-wishes for the couple. Justin Huchel, a real estate agent and friend of Justin Timberlake, allegedly paid the homeless participants $40 for their troubles. Of course, we’ll never be able to see that cinematic gem because Timberlake lawyers are trying to shut it down. Lawyers, man. They just suck all the joy out of making fun of the less fortunate. Although TMZ did talk to one participant and you’ll want to see what he has to say…
Let me weave another fairytale story rull quick. Once upon a time, there was a B-list pop princess who married a B-list boybander, and broadcast their lives for all the world to see. The pop princess has an overbearing Dad who spread a thick layer of “ick” on everything he looked at.
OF couse I’m talking about Jessica Simpson, who recently lost 60 pounds as a paid spokesperson for Weight Watchers, but never mind that — her dad, Joe Simpson and mother, Tina Simpson, have filed for divorce….because he might be gay!? Ok, ALLEGEDLY, Joe Simpson gay lifestyle is the culprit of the split. He was with a young man when he was arrested for a DUI in August, which some have thought to be his 20-year-old boyfriend. I think if Joe Simpson was gay, it would really explain….a lot, frankly.
One and done!
- Adele gave birth to a bouncing baby boy — and she’ll have a $50k nursery to place him in.
- Taylor Swift has split with her boyfriend of two months, Connor Kennedy. A song is forthcoming.
- Taylor Swift told Katie Couric that she “doesn’t know how to love.” I think her next song should be called “It’s not you, it’s me”.
- Diddy was injured in a car crash in L.A. this week.
- Michael Lohan tried to perform an intervention for Lindsey Lohan and failed when her people sent her away. Someday the Lohans will behave themselves, but not this week.
- Bobby Brown was arrested for a DUI. Ok, I think officially all celebrities should just spend money on drivers already.
- Katy Perry is voting for Obama. Whew! For a second there, Obama was worried.
- Bruno Mars’ sisters, who have a singing group called LYLAS, has been bullying the X-Factor group by the same name because they claim the second group stole their group name. Yeah, I mean, without Bruno Mars sisters, how would I have signed every yearbook from 1988 to 1998?
- Eva Longoria and Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez have split because he’s allegedly too mad about the terrible season to be around. Let’s just say Eva Longoria has a type…
Have a great weekend!