Celebrity Roundup: WHY?

Happy Friday, folks!

Although I’m spending my weekend around the house because I’m on call for work and am shackled to this general area until Monday, I’m stlil pretty pumped for the weekend. On the agenda? Hand-crafting a Charlie Brown halloween costume for my still rather hairless toddler. And also a Lucy dress for me. If it turns out beautiful, I’ll blog about it. Who am I kidding, even if it turns out awful I’ll blog about it.

Oh, speaking of my blog, I had some blog issues this week and ended up losing my header image, so no time like now to give my blog a little nip and tuck and class the place up a smidge. New background. GO LOOK!

Alright, so this week’s Celebrity Roundup is entitled, simply, WHY. It’s been the theme of celebrity gossip this week for me — everything I read makes me do that crinkly eye thing that shows my confusion. Lindsay Lohan, these crows feet are your fault.

This week’s lately LiLo story involves a screaming match between she and her mother, Dina Lohan. Early Wednesday morning, after a long night of mother-daughter shot-drinking and dancing, Lindsay Lohan and Dina Lohan got into an argument because Dina wanted Lindsay’s limo to take her home to Long Island to avoid paying for taxi fees. The fight escalated, and at one point Lindsay Lohan accused her mother of being on cocaine and later said her mother owed her $40,000, which Lindsay had loaned Dina Lohan to save her house from foreclosure. Also, Dina had four glasses of wine coursing through her system before the fight. They are so lovely.

How do we know this all happened? Because there was a recorded conversation between LIndsay Lohan and her father, Michael Lohan, with crazy Dina screaming in the background.

After the fight, Lindsay Lohan backtracked, saying her mother is NOT on cocaine and that her father is “dead to [her] now.” Then the mother and daughter duo hugged it out and then Lindsay few back to L.A. on her private jet no worse for the wear. 

So:

1. How does Lindsey have $40k to loan?
2. Why does she have a limo?
3. Who is paying for that private jet?
4. WHY?

See? Crows feet.

Then there’s Justin Bieber, who is in the middle of a nude pictures/ PR crisis. Allegedly, Justin Bieber’s laptop was stolen earlier this week containing ”personal footage” of the teen crooner. Soon after, rumors of a nude photo surfaced online and then — surprise, surprise — an actual picture popped up (no pun intended) of what could have been Justin Bieber and  Lil Bieber from the waist down (and you can click on that if you want to see.) Beliebers far and wide called it a fake, even after an anonymous Twitter user begins harassing Justin Bieber, threatening to release more pictures aaannnnddd Gawker says it’s probably a huge PR stunt for his stupid new video.  

So:

1. Well played, Bieber marketing folks…well played.
2. No thanks to even planting that seed in my mind about Justin Bieber taking naked pictures of himself.
3. I’m telling you right now, Justin Bieber is RULL close to a complete and total meltdown. I feel it coming. Wait for the other shoe to drop.
4. WHY?

More WHYS? in the Celebrity World this week:

• There is a Hulk Hogan sex tape out there, y’all, With his best friend’s estranged wife.
• Hulk Hogans’ best friend is named Bubba the Love Sponge.
• Hulk Hogan is sick to his stomach over the sex tape. As am I.
• Although Hulk Hogan admits he recorded the tape while he was still married, he was driven to do so by his ex-wife’s physical and emotional abuse (which Linda Hogan denies.) He’s just a big ol softy.
• A Real Housewives of Miami cast member was arrested for punching a hobo in the nuts. Let that headline simmer in your mind for a little while.
• Demi Moore is not happy about her ex-husband Ashton Kutcher dating Mila Kunis. And I’m sure Ashton will take that into consideration, just like he did your marriage vows.
• Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman are divorcing after 30 years of marriage.  Love is dead.