Toddler Menu

My bowl is empty. Someone should remedy this situation.

My bowl is empty. Someone should remedy this situation.

Hi, welcome to 20 Month, the hottest new restaurant in the area.

I’m Luke, and I’ll be taking care of you today. Just ignore all those food pieces in the table. That’s from previous meals. We believe hardened apple sauce and dried American cheese slices give this place a special ambiance.

Can I take your drink order? We have milk, chocolate milk, apple juice and water. I don’t recommend the water. It’s not nearly as delicious as, say, chocolate milk, but water is served in a leaky sippy cup perfect for flinging all over the floor. So, water it will be for you?

May I start you off with an appetizer? Perhaps apple sauce served with a side of plain yogurt, yogurt with pear slices, yogurt with strawberries, yogurt with Grapes — actually, Mommy will put absolutely anything in yogurt if you want. Mmmm. Yogurt. Another popular app around here is Goldfish crackers. I will fight you for goldfish crackers, friend. They are mine. All Goldfish. Actually, now that I think about it, they aren’t on the menu anymore.

Our vegetable of the day Is green beans. It’s the vegetable of the day every day. Literally, the only vegetable on the menu. If you don’t like green beans, you’re out of luck.

For the main course, we’re serving your choice of a American cheese wrapped in a flour tortilla or white rice with butter. It’s as delicious as it sounds, and that’s all we offer. Two wonderful choices!

Ready for dessert? You’re in for a treat. We have Spongebob Square Pants Honey Grahams, animal crackers, Oreos, chocolate coke cake¬†and Rainbow Chip Cookies. You’ll take the Rainbow Chip Cookies?

Ok.

Can I have a bite of your cookie?

Can I have one more bite?

No?

WAAAAAAAAaaaAAAAaaaAAAAAaaaHHHHHHHHHH!

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