There’s this pin going around Pinterest about having a hangover after a book and being unable to start a new one because you’re still so involved in the world of your last book. I can relate on many levels. Back when I had lots of time to read, I’d devour a book in one day and then have trouble picking up a new one.
Same applies to a big celebrity story. After binging on Tom and Katie for two weeks, stories are dwindling. There’s just nothing new to report. They settled their divorce in record time and now Katie is just living her life, grocery shopping, taking Suri to the Central Park Zoo and going out to dinner by herself. I’m sorry, but that’s hardly newsworthy. So until we get some big bombshell about Tom Cruise or Scientology, I’m going to have to shut the book on the TomKat Saga of 2012.
It’s been really difficult for me to find good gossip for y’all because frankly, it all pales into comparison with this epic Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes Divorce. But I shall persevere.
update: Jennifer Lopez is officially leaving Idol too!
Let’s start out with a huge American Idol shakeup. Among reports that Jennifer Lopez would be leaving American Idol (she hinted on the Today show that her 2nd season might have been her last), Steven Tyler announced he was definitely, for sure, 110% positive that he was dunzo with the worn out reality singing show. IN a statement Steven Tyler said:
After some long … hard … thoughts … I’ve decided it’s time for me to let go of my mistress American Idol before she boils my rabbit, I strayed from my first love, Aerosmith…”
Wait, hmm, maybe he doesn’t mean he’s really really leaving?
“I’m back – but instead of begging on my hands and knees, I’ve got two fists in the air and I’m kicking the door open with my band.”
The sudden departure comes on the tail of Ido’s sharpest ratings decline ever and STeven Tyler’s obvious disinterest in judging during live shows, where he often resorted to inappropriately icky comments about young contestants looks instead of commentary on her singing.
Rumors are flying about Idol replacements. On the list? Adam Lambert, Miley Cyrus, Nicki Minaj, Fergie, Katie Parry and will.i.am which leave me less than enthused and then the mother of all Idol rumors, MARIAH CAREY, who is reportedly in ‘serious talks’ to be an American Idol judge. To this I say: yes, yes, hellz yes! Mariah Carey and Britney Spears on TV? Be still my late 90s-early-00s-music-lovin’-heart.
One and done. I’m not even trying today.
- Miley Cyrus got a tattoo with quotes from a 1920 Theodore Roosevelt speech that’s super long. Well, at least we know she knows how to read.
- Taylor Swift was named the highest paid star under 30 in the latest Forbes, joining Justin Bieber, Rihanna and Katy Perry. I discovered the secret to success — be talentless, young and lucky!
- Lindsay Price and Curtis Stone are engaged! Bonus points if you know who either of these people are.
- Kendra Wilkinson defended Jessica Simpson’s weight, saying, “That’s a woman who just gave birth; her first priority right now is her child [not] losing the weight.” And then we all gave her a standing ovation (filed under: things I didn’t think I’d type today.)
- El James, author of Fifty Shands of Grey, the erotic trilogy making millions of housewives lose their panties, nixed the idea of casting Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart as the stars. The guy who wrote erotic fiction that started out as Twilight Fan Fic is getting snotty about Twilight stars?
- Madonna is being sued by execs at VMG for sampling portions of a composition called “Love Break”, released in 1977. Oh, interesting, we went back to the 90s and didn’t even realize it!
- Justin Bieber is in trouble with the law after driving erratically and at incredibly fast speeds in his Fisker (which he could not believe the cops didn’t know), which 911 callers called “a spaceship”. Justin Bieber drives a spaceship — you heard it here first!
- Jessica Biel flashed her new engagement ring from Justin Timberlake and talked about her shoes at the ESPYs. Girl after my own heart.
- StyleBlazer put out a list of 15 celebs who are aging badly and it’s hilariously awesome.