10 restaurant foods that shouldn’t exist

I’m a connoisseur of foods that are delicious and terrible for you. I’d rather eat out than pretty much anything in this world, but there are a few foodstuffs that I just can’t get behind. Certain foods just shouldn’t go together, ya know? Here are 10 foods from restaurants that should not exist and are wrong on so very many levels.

  1. Pizza Hut Pizolo – Half sub, half pizza. Only three dollars which is super scary. Listen, either you eat a sub or you eat a pizza. You can’t have both.
  2. Golden Corral Chocolate Fountain – I hate to imagine how many fingernails are in that chocolate fountain.
  3. Tudors Biscuit WorldThundering Herd - Named after my Alma Matter, located in my hometown, this biscuit includes a hash brown right there ON the biscuit.
  4. KFC Double Down – Why use bread when you can use breaded chicken. It’s the same…right?
  5. Steak N Shake Wisconsin Buttery Burger - Real butter melted on top of two patties, American cheese and a pile of onions and mushrooms. Just add butter to kick that heart attack up a notch.
  6. Golden Corral Cotton Candy – No. Just no. Stop it right now.
  7. McDonalds McGriddle – Essentially, a waffle with syrup squares used as bread for your breakfast sandwich. Too much, too early.
  8. Dairy Queen Oreo Cookie Jar – Oreos + Cookie Dough = sugar coma. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
  9. The Burger King Bacon Sundae – Gross. Vom. Here’s my dirty confession: I can take or leave bacon. There, I said it. I can definitely leave it when it’s in a sundae.
  10. Taco Bell Everything on the Menu – Now that I’m not in college, I’m saddened by Taco Bell in general.

You guys! I’m over at Greta Funk’s place talking about my expectations for parenting with my husband. Go say hi!!!

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19 comments to 10 restaurant foods that shouldn’t exist

  • Wait stop I LOVE LOVE LOVE Biscuit World. LOVE IT. My kids got their first taste of it on our trip to Virginia in 2010. Being southern you thought I had introduced them to heaven. Biscuits as big as their hands. It was a treat for me when we made the trips when I was young. The rest of them I will give you but Biscuit world is fighting words lol

  • I have never heard of most of these. But then, I don’t want commercials because of the DVR, and everything I DVR is HGTV or Mad Men.

    The KFC one seems the grossest.

  • It’s like they are trying to give people heart disease.

    And I totally agree with you about Taco Bell…. I can’t, just can’t do it anymore.

  • OMG yes. I’m completely horrified at the thought of the Golden Corral chocolate fountain. I can only imagine the number of hands and other things that go in to that. EWWWWW.

  • I agree with everything on this list..except for the hashbrown biscuit thing because I’ve never heard of it. But based on your description, I disagree with that, too. I keep waiting for the fried twinkie to make the leap from fair food to mainstream Friday night fare, but it hasn’t happened yet. Shockingly. Although if it does, I guarantee it will be here in Georgia first.

  • Can I say I’m a little embarrassed that I’ve eaten both #5 and #7 in the last two weeks? And my girls are dying to try the chocolate fountain at Golden Corral. And I kind of want the Oreo Cookie Jar now. What can I say? I’m obviously unhealthy.

  • Greta

    Most of these are totally EW. I actually do miss Taco Bell just a tiny bit. My husband got food poisoning there a million years ago and refuses to go.

  • OK, #2 made me throw up a little in my mouth. I am repulsed – REPULSED! – by buffets in general (I even blogged about said repulsion once in a post that combined buffets and porn), but a chocolate fountain on a buffet? NO! Absolutely not. Get the eff out right now.

    As for all the other stuff, only in America – land of the 66% (and growing) obesity rate – could humans concoct such shit.

    (Confession: I’ve never eaten at Taco Bell. Ever.)

  • Jaime

    Ok, I have to disagree on two items. First, the McGriddle. That thing pretty much changed my life. It combines all of my favorite breakfast items into one perfect little portable package and I am in heaven anytime I eat one. Which is only 1-2 times per YEAR since I only allow myself to eat them on a road trip when my only choices are McD’s or Taco Bell. LOL. Which brings me to my second item: Taco Bell. While most of their stuff is pretty grody, that burrito they had that had the the chili fritos chips inside was like crack! But instead of poisoning ourselves with more TacoBell, I just buy a small bag of the chips and add them to the much healthier burritos I make at home. LOL.

  • I am so with you on the bacon thing. Take it or leave it. And that bacon sundae? GROSS.

    (Like Kristin ^^^ I’ve never had Taco Bell either.)

  • Oh God, the thought of the chocolate fountain at Golden Corral makes me want to vomit. Whenever we see a commercial for it my kids think it is cool. We then remind them how some people don’t wash their hands and then they change their minds. Ick.

  • I have a real problem with this post. First of all, butter goes on everything. No arguments. Second although I haven’t eaten it, I think the Double Down is brilliant and a real time saver. Nobody wants the stupid bread anyway. And finally, 3 Words: Fresco Bean Burrito. I’m a once-a-weeker. Don’t knock it ’till you tried it. I’ve scaled back from the Cheesy Bean and Rice burrito which got me through my 2nd and 3rd pregnancies.

  • You lost me at Chocolate Fountain with fingernails…ugh.. VOM! But on the other end of this thank you. I was contemplating getting some ice cream now I need ice water… to get all the “pre-vom saliva” out of my mouth! haha

    new diet – awesome! I’ll be back when my next craving kicks in ;)

  • I could leave the bacon too. My husband thinks this is almost grounds for divorce.

    • Amanda

      I honestly don’t get the point. It’s good…it’s not GREAT. It’s way down on the list of things I crave. And if I’m going to have that many calories, give me a donut. Yesterday I dumped out some bacon grease from the pan and it was so disgusting…enough tho make me want to never eat it again.

  • Found you through the link up today! Totally agree with Taco Bell anything. Yuck! My husband loves it. Yuck! I am your newest follower! Check out my post if you get a chance.

  • Hahahaaaaaa! Your lists are always the best!
    Thanks for linking up!

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