Celebrity Roundup: See what I did there?

Saturday is a very special day in my life.

Five years ago, at 3:30 p.m., on a gorgeous spring day, I took at the top of the Ritter Park Ampitheater with my Dad, ready to walk down the grass covered steps to my best friend and husband-to-be.

I almost passed out from nervousness. It wasn’t cold feet, it was a girdle I was wearing and the fact that I sort of hate being the center of attention.

Our first year was hard — very hard. It included layoffs, problems finding a job, moving 700 miles, more problems finding a job, our dog’s major surgery and other various and sundry bummers. On our first anniversary, we were thrilled we made it.

Spoiler alert: I always knew we would. Love will keep us together.

Although our photographer was crappy (and I will never forgive her)(I don’t hold grudges)(yes, I do) and we should have just gotten a photo booth or something,

I’ve been distracted by working nine hours a day on our new website at work and excited about our anniversary weekend that includes going to Disney (again) but this time with my new 50mm lens. Basically, nothing good happened in the celebrity world this week so I was easily distracted from my regular celebrity news spotting.

Forgive me.

But while you’re forgiving me, thank Rox and Stephanie for being big fans and keeping me super accountable.

Now where was I…

OH! Celebrity gossip. Right.

The saddest news of the week? The death of disco legend Donna Summer, who lost her battle with cancer Thursday. She was 63 years old.

After news of her death broke, TMZ reported that Donna Summer was convinced the toxic smoke she breathed from her apartment near Ground Zero on and after 9/11 contributed to her lung cancer — although she was a heavy smoker. Donna Summer was diagnosed with lung cancer 10 months ago and kept her illness a secret from everyone but her husband and children.

Stars like Gloria Estefan, LaToya Jackson, Ryan Seacrest, William Shatner and Kelly Osbourne weighed in with half-hearted condolences and bad “Last Dance” puns just so people like me would write about them. Mission accomplished.

Donna Summer will be laid to rest Monday in Nashville. RIP “Hot Stuff.” We’ll always “Love to love ya baby.” (See what I did there?)

Remember last week’s John Travolta ickiness? The plot — she thickens.

The attorney for John Travolta’s first sexual assault victim dropped his client and withdrew the lawsuit, claiming the incorrect date would diminish the chances of winning the lawsuit. Soon after being dropped, John Doe #1 hired bulldog attorney Gloria Allred. Dun dun DUN!

But WAIT! Yesterday the second John Doe #2, an Atlanta-based masseur,  fired original attorney Okorie Okorocha and hired Gloria Allred too! WHAT! And now Gloria Allred, who is known for taking on controversial and high-profile cases, and Okorie Okorocha, who has a law degree with the ink still not dry yet, ARE FIGHTING!!!!!11111

Lordy be, I eat this stuff up with a spoon. Coming soon: A bulleted list of all the sexual assault lawsuits against John Travolta because a new one is popping up for a happy ending every day. (SEE WHAT I DID THERE?)

Now for the Celebrity Roundup One-and-Dones.

• Tom Cruise is on the cover of W Magazine this month looking like Ed Hardy threw up all over his body.
• Teen Mom Jenelle Evans used North Carolia taxpayers money to get a set of implants. Now her boyfriends can love her for her fake boobs AND her terrible personality.
• David Beckham will be part of the Olympic Torch relay, bringing the flame from Athens to London. He’s so hot that if the flame burnt out, he could look at it and it would reignite.
• John Mayer loves the Bachelor and doesn’t feel guilty about it. I’d say John has many other things he should feel guilty about instead.
• Russell Brand confessed to Ellen that he still loves ex-wife Katy Perry “as a human being”. I dont’ think the feeling is mutual.
• And here’s Miley Cyrus spitting a loogie off a balcony in Miami. You can take the girl out of Tennessee…
• Justin Bieber told GQ Magazine that he’s a “swaggy adult” and admits to drinking beer. This just in! Justin Bieber lowers the drinking age to 18!
• True or False? Funny-woman Sarah Colonna will be getting a voluntary hysterectomy sometime soon! Don’t believe me.