On Monday, Fox officially announced Britney Spears will be judging mediocre talent on The X-Factor next season, joining Simon Cowell, L.A. Reid and Demi Lovato, known for Disney Channel shows and living in Crazy Town, USA, population two: her and Mariah Carey. X factor Britney Spears’ fiance and father, co-conservators of her fortune, signed the X-Factor $15 million dollar deal on her behalf.
I’ll skip discussing my conspiracy theory that Demi Lovato judging the X-Factor is nothing more than a “Scared Straight” program in which she can see her future sitting right beside her at the judges table and get straight to 10 things just of X Factor Britney Spears can buy for $15 million
1. Thirty-six thousand pontoon boats
2. Five million bags of Cheetos or 394,736 boxes of 64 bags
3. Sixty-nine thousand Pasotti Ombrelli Dahlia gold women’s umbrella. You know, for hitting people.
4. 6,818 iMac desktop computers pre-loaded with auto-tune software.
5. Fourty-five hundred Slurpee machines.
6. 3.75 million boxes of Revlon Frost&Glow
8. 652,000 packets of Mam Papual’s Okra Gumbo mix, for when she gets homesick for Louisiana.
9. 6,000 tanning beds
10. Christina Aguilera’s LA Mansion — because a girl can’t have too many mansions.
What else could Britney Spears buy with her X-Factor money? Leave it on my Facebook wall!