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Dear everyone on television,
Listen people, you and i need to have a serious talk.
This is an intervention. A pigervention, in fact. Because, you see, there seems to be a ……… Situation. And I’m not talking about a poorly dressed fauxlebrity from the jersey shore.
This situations surrounds the world’s most famous (and only)felt pig.
Ok so there’s the thing. The Muppet Movie premiered in December 2011 and suddenly the muppets were like Visa — everywhere you want to be. From commercials to talk shows, miss piggy and Kermit were pimping out their movie. Which is just fantastic, right? And expected. And not at all out of the ordinary.
A few months later, lo and behold, miss piggy and Kermit showed up on Saturday night live when Jason Segal hosted. I mean, that makes sense. They even played it sort of tongue-in-cheeky, like “we’re pretending like these puppets are real people but they aren’t, hehe *wink!*”
Since then, something’s happened. Something disturbing and confusing to me. Suddenly, Miss Piggy is being treated by television and the media as if she’s a real person.
Miss Piggy appeared as both a guest and a “client” on Project Runway All-Stars. The contestants were all, “I have ALWAYS wanted to design a dress for Miss Piggy!!!!!1111″ and not one snarked about her being a puppet. Not even Anthony Williams who didn’t hesitate calling out anyone else on the show.
It’s not just her appearances — it’s the way it’s being reported.
- People Magazine discussing her “red carpet style” without mention of the hand up her butt.
- The LA Times writing a story about Miss Piggy’s war of words with Fox News.
- CBS News leading with a story about Miss Piggy and Kermit presenting at the Oscars and then mentioning Tom Cruise and Halle Berry as an aside.
- In-Style printing an entire photoshoot with the “porcine diva”.
- MSNBC posting a tutorial on how to create your own DIY Miss Piggy inspired glitter shoes to mimic the ones she “designed” and you can buy for a cool $567. (WHAT THE???) (Ok, actually I sort of want to do this.)
So here is a short list, world, of things Miss Piggy is and is not:
Miss Piggy Is
- A stuffed pig
- A puppet
- Made of felt
- Not alive
Miss Piggy Is Not
- Able to move on her own
- A living creature
- An actual pig
- A person
- A fashion icon
- A designer
- A magazine editor
I have to admit, she does have soem pretty fabulous eye lashes.
How do you feel about Miss Piggy?
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This cracked me up but I have to say as someone who’s been obsessed with this Pig since she debuted I couldn’t disagree with you more. It’s goofy, it’s crazy but I love it and her and how she’s treated as a faux celeb” Even Chanel designed gear for her in the movie. She’s a silly, fake icon but I love her. I’d much rather see Gucci dressing Mrs. Piggy the puppet than the real life Miss Piggy aka Snookie
Twitter: euregirlsandboy
I’ve never really been a fan. In fact, I find Miss Piggy pretty annoying.
Twitter: SaidKristin
Miss Piggy grates on my last nerve. Always has, always will. When the muppets sing The Twelve Days of Christmas, I want to shoot my radio every time Miss Piggy wails, “FIVE GOOOO-OOOOLD RINGS!” In short, I hate her. Beaker, The Swedish Chef, and those two grump guys in the balcony are much more deserving of the media’s attention
That is all.
P.S. Pig-frog sex is just gross.
Twitter: AwesomeHutch
She may not be human, but she’s real to me
I personally think they should be inviting Pepe on these shows, he’s much more entertaining!
Her voice always annoyed me. I’d rather have Elmo be “famous” and everywhere you look if you are gonna pretend a muppet is real!
Twitter: LittlsMsP
BUT Miss Piggy is AWESOME! Plus, let’s be honest stranger things have happened.
Anytime a letter begins “Dear Everyone on Television” you know it’s going to be good.
And your what she IS versus what she is NOT lists did not disappoint.
Also (and most importantly) I’m devastated to have missed this season of Project Runway. Because it was called All-Stars, it didn’t automatically record in my DVR.
If I write to Miss Piggy, do you think she could send me a copy of her episode?
XO
Twitter: laurenweber84
Odd? Yes. But awesome? Yesssss! I much rather watch Miss Piggy than the other little piggys – Snooki, LiLo, etc.
Twitter: lindsTR
I’m SO GLAD you wrote this! There have been so many stupid things about Miss Piggy lately! I mean, I love the little pig, but she ISN’T REAL. The Project Runway challenge was just redonkulous. And Zac Posen made her Oscars gown? COME ON! Oh, and how about Kermit was wearing Brooks Brothers! http://fashionista.com/2012/02/all-the-red-carpet-looks-from-the-2012-oscars/84th-annual-academy-awards-show/ I do like these guys… my grandpa’s name was Kermit… but people need to realize that they aren’t real. And they look downright silly for acting as if they are!
Twitter: kristinzas
I find that pig vaguely annoying. Whether or not there is a hand up her butt.
Shhhh…dont tell.
OMGeee! This made me laugh. Like, out loud laugh. She, is, in fact, a glorified stuffy.
Great post.
Well that’s about the nicest thing you could say….I made you laugh…MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!
Twitter: momma23monkeys
As a child who grew up watching The Muppets I LOVE Ms. Piggy! Obviously she isn’t real and I don’t pay attention to news/entertainment but from what you say…it sounds quite lame.
Twitter: iamnotthemaid
I’m glad that I am not alone in my feelings towards Ms. Piggy and the muppets in general. I didn’t even like them as a child so now I find them really annoying!
I kind of think they are cute — but in the context of the movie and being characters! But I do think they have some overexposure.
Twitter: AlisonSWLee
I always imagined Miss Piggy and Angelina Jolie to be in the same boat – basically, unreal.
Twitter: MayorGia
Hush. I love her.
ha! Well, like I said, I sort of envy her eyelashes and hair
A pig-ervention?
Fauxlebrity?
You should write a dictionary of urban hip. These words are fab!
What do I think of Miss Piggy? She’s like Joan Rivers: never ages and and unstoppable.
Maybe I should write a dictionary of “It’s Blogworthy” words
Thanks for stopping by!
Twitter: chosenchaos
How fun seeing you at YeahWrite!
I watched the Muppets like the rest of us and they were ok. I preferred Star Search. She annoys me, being so mean to Kermy.
Twitter: GisSilent
I don’t understand. You’re confusing me and upsetting me. WTF?
ha! I guess Miss Piggy is like Santa Claus — as long as you believe, she’s real.
Funny post! Didn’t the same celebrity circuit thing happen in the 80s during the last muppet movie craze? I seem to remember them appearing on SNL and other talk shows with the hosts playing along as if they were real people. Ha ha very funny. But enough already!
Probably so! I’m OK with pretending they are real in the context of the muppets — but when designers start designing dresses for her? That’s when it gets strange to me.
OK, that was hilarious. I am never ever going to be able to look at ‘her’ the same again.
Well, thank you. If I can convert just ONE person to believing she’s felt, I have done my job
Twitter: jlweinberg
Thank you so much for this. I freaking HATE MISS PIGGY! I’m sure she would clobber me with a pink hoof right in the eyeball for saying this, of course. And it would be televised. What does Kermit see in her? Gross.
so, so gross. And not even because she’s a pig. It’s because she’s ugly on the inside.
Twitter: smushyfacebaby
Deeply, truly, thank you. Could you now please address the weird and complete inappropriateness of having a lizard pitching for an insurance company? Because that freaks me the hell out.
You’re VERY welcome. Not only a lizard, though….a BRITISH lizard. LIke, what?
I was never a fan of Miss Piggy. I didn’t like the way she treated Kermit, and always thought he could do better. Crap…now I’m doing it!
Stacey recently posted..Four
Better than a pig? FOR SURE. I don’t care how voluptuous she is.
Twitter: dadofthedecade
To be fair, though, I care much more about what Miss Piggy is wearing than who what any Kardashian is doing at any given moment!
TOTALLY agree. I’m really over the Kardashians… in fact, this is a Kardashian Free Zone.
PIGS IN SPAAACCCCCEEEE!!!!!
I’m cool with Miss Piggy as a real person unless they get a weird crotch shot of her getting out of a car or something. Although I may pay to see a sex tape….
I have to admit — me too. Although just because I”m curious as to how that works.
Twitter: latorres
I never liked Miss Piggie. Even as a Muppet Baby she was a controlling bitch.
YES. Yes so much yes. A little baby bitch.
The thing I love about Miss Piggy, THE THING I wish was true of all celebrities….. it is perfectly acceptable and logical to stuff in a trunk and close the lid.
Can we not get trunks for Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton and Snookie and …. oh, this could be a long list.
Great post. So fun!
WONDERFUL point. I know I”d love to put Kim Kardash in a trunk and shut the lid. HARD.
Twitter: kdwald
Where have I been that I haven’t noticed this insanity? Although, I kind of like her punk rock look. Funny idea for a post!
I don’t know — because she is EVERYWHERE. Although somepeople have made a good point — that she’s WAY better than the Paris and Snookies of the world!
After seeing some of the guest judges on Project Runway All Stars this season, I do believe Miss Piggy was NOT the worst!
Fun post!
Oh, that’s so true. There have been some doozies, and some designers who’d give her a run for her money in the diva dept.
Twitter: KelleysBreakRm
I mean, you are absolutely right. She has those eyelashes. It’s those eyelashes that make me just turn my eyes from the fact that she is just a felt pig. I bet it’s sad at the Muppets studio when Miss Piggy just lays there after her workday is done. No talking. No moving. I think I’m going to cry! (Thanks for linking up with #findingthefunny!)