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We made it to another glorious Friday. I woke up this morning with that Friday Wong running through my head, but the Stephen Colbert version, which I recommend you watch in a hurry if you love to laugh (and i know you do).
Of course, time for me to make excuses as to why this Roundup is late. I was snuggling Mama’s Little Petri Dish who was running a fever. As much as I love celebrity gossip, snuggling babies always trumps it. It’s a tough life I lead when I have to choose between snuggling with a baby and writing about celebrity gossip. Somebody pinch me, I must be dreaming!
Anyway, stuffs have been going down this week in the world of celebrities – especially some you’re sick and tired of reading about, for crying out loud, so without further ado, let’s talk about how Beyonce and Jayz have trademarked their child’s name.
Oh brother.
Yes, it’s true: Jay-Z and Beyonce have filed paperwork to trademark the moniker of their month old daughter, Blue Ivy. If you like it then you should put a TM on it.
Sources speculate this is a purely business move and the couple have some baby-related products in the work that will hold the Blue Ivy name ™ (I don’t want to get sued by Jay-Z.) That’s exactly why you have kids, right? To make money off their name and also so they will help you fold socks.
We can only hope to someday buy our own version of Blue Ivy’s $1000 stroller that was gifted to her by Beyonce’s BFF Gwynneth Paltrow.
Sick and tired of Blue Ivy yet? Moving on.
Did y’all watch the glorious comedy/tragedy that was the Madonna Superbowl halftime show? It started with 53-year-old Madonna Vogue-ing like it’s 1990 and ended with shaking her pom poms on a bleacher and I wish that was a euphemism. Literally, shaking pom poms on bleachers. In between there was some LMFAO and a tightrope walker named SkAndy and M.I.A. flipping off the camera because behaving herself for one minute and 30 seconds was just too difficult. Your basic 3 ring circus, minus two rings and an elephant.
And then there is Gisele Bundchen, wife of Patriots quarterback Tom Brady,who responded to a Giants fan’s comments after the game with a smile, then said the following to her friend in reference to the Patriot’s errors during the game: ”My husband cannot f*****g throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time.” She also momentarily lost her mind by thinking some camera wouldn’t catch that. All this from the woman who asked her friends to pray for a win last week.
After the comment, everyone had to weigh in, from Giants’ running back Brandon Jacobs: “[she should] stay cute and shut up” to Kristin Cavallari: “Kind of loving how Gisele stuck up for her man” (she can say that because she tricked an NFL player into being her baby daddy) to a bevy of Victoria’s Secret Angels: ““I think you always have to stand up for your husband, you’re a team. And you know if she did that, I would’ve done the same,”; “Leave her alone!”
I know what you’re thinking. Am I reading last week’s Roundup? Didn’t she just talk about Madonna and Gisele? Yes I did. Sick and tired. Moving on.
When I’m reporting celebrity divorces, the signing of the divorce papers always feels like a nice, tidy wrap up to the story, and that’s exactly what we have with the ongoing saga of star-crossed-lovers-slash-odd-couple Katy Perry and Russel Brand, who finalized their divorce this week less than 18 months after they tied the knot.
The divorce will become final six months from the date of filing. Although the couple did not have a pre-nuptial agreement in place, Brand is not seeking any money from Perry. He doesn’t need it; he has a successful career playing sociopaths.
If there were any rumors that Katy Perry was unhappy about the divorce, the smiley face she drew on the documents quelled them. I can imagine she did the same with all the photos of the two of them together.
Oh boy, more news!
- Giant’s line backer Greg Jones proposed to his girlfriend of two years after his Superbowl win Sunday, and his mama ain’t happy about it. If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.
- Naomi Watts will play Princess Di in an upcoming biopic. QUICK! Make a movie about the Royals before people stop caring again!
- Macauley Culkin is fine, you guys. Can’t a guy lose 20 pounds and look like a meth addict without people judging? Sheesh.
- Camila Alves showed off her new bling from fiance Matthew McConaughey this week. People, it took me 10 minutes to spell his last name. Good luck with that, sister.
- Bruce Willis blames Ashton Kutcher for Demi Moore‘s recent breakdown. Um. Duh?
- Chris Brown is planning an ‘Over the Top’ Grammy Awards performance this Sunday. Who is still inviting Chris Brown to perform? He’s like a cockroach: you keep crunching them and they keep showing up in your garbage.
- The Spice Girls are considering a reunion. Wait — Vogue? Spice Girls? HAVE WE ALL TIME TRAVELED BACK TO THE 90S?
Enjoy your weekend! Don’t forget to dig through your drawers and closets for your worst clothes and accessories for the Bloggers Worst Dressed contest!
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hahaha – yeah the gold pom poms about did me in too! Or maybe it was the geratic bumping and grinding? The ole equipment just ain’t the same! Hysterical, as always!
Kristin Cavallari is pregnant? I had no idea. I actually don’t care, but I had no idea.
When Madonna got her cheer on is when she fell off my radar screen for life.
Um. Ok. With this whole Beyonce / Jay-Z TM thing with the kid? What happens to the COMPANY that had this name first?! There might be more coming from this after all. And it might not be the profits from the products sold…
And I *love* that version of the Friday song. Watching Steven Colbert, Taylor Hicks and Jimmy Fallon (and those cheerleaders!) always always always makes me smile.
Smiley faces in divorce documents? Who does that?
Ugh, Chris Brown. For starters, he’s a dirty abuser. But that part aside, am I the only one tired of his over the top performances? So over him.
I mean it doesn’t surprise me. She’s like a teenage girl in a woman’s body — or wants us to believe that.
You’ve been sounding awful and miserable! I really, really feel bad for you!
OK and the tight rope dude? I totally think he looks like WIll Ferrell with that hair.
I’m laughing at Liz’s comment because I didn’t see Madonna perform but every time I see a picture of that tight-rope walking dude, I think it’s Will Ferrell doing a spoof. So it’s not actually Will Ferrell???
I can’t believe Jay-Z is TM’ing his daughter’s name. Unbelievable. It irks me how celebrities will always find a way to make money off of their kids somehow, as if they don’t already have an unreal amount of money as it is? What’s next…are they gonna start selling her poopy diapers on E-bay??
“If you like it then you should put a TM on it.” = Hahahaha!
I seriously love the celebrity round up. That was, possibly, the best 8 minutes of my day so far!
The Celebrity Roundup loves you too!
Twitter: AwesomeHutch
So I’m very curious about the finalizing of the divorce? Was it done in CA? If so that’s supposed to take 15 months before it’s technically final. Seems a bit suspicious is all. Always the conspiracy theorist over here.
Hm, I got that info from the ABC article! Wow, wonder if it’s been a coverup!
Twitter: kallaydoscope
Honestly. They should have just asked Kelly Clarkson to sing the National Anthem again at halftime.
Madonna’s peppy cheerleading and the almost falling off the bleachers moment would be enough to disown her, if I were Lordes. That poor child.
Also, glad to see Bruce is up with the times. o.O
Twitter: kristinzas
I cannot stand Gisele.
Or cavallari.
Or jay cutler
Twitter: MissMarinaStar
I’m so glad I made it to my reader in time to catch your Celebrity Roundup. It truly is the best part of my Friday!
Have a great weekend, hope your little one is feeling better.
Twitter: AlisonSWLee
Gisele should just not talk. Ever.
Twitter: amymacsmusings
Lots of good gossip this week! I wish someone would tell Gisele that my ears are not trash cans. So dumb! Oh, and love the Chris Brown/Cockroach analogy. So very true.
Twitter: SaidKristin
OMG, I cannot spell Matthew McConaughey’s name either! (Even now, I C&P from you.)
That’s all I got. It’s Saturday night, I’m exhausted, and mourning the death of Whitney Houston.
Twitter: mytimeasmom
I think I should trademark my kids’ names.
Twitter: KristenPGIP
Ugh! Don’t even get me started on Kristin Cavalleri. She is a disgrace to all of us Kristens out there whether it is spelled with an I or an E. Still can’t figure out how she is a celebrity.
As for Bruce Willis…double duh! I’m so with you on that one. Shame Ashton turned out to be a scum bucket…he was so easy on the eyes
Kristen recently posted..Love Is…
I know, right? She’s know for NOTHING. People like that annoy me to no end.
Twitter: lindsTR
I don’t think I commented on this yet since I was out of town, but I just have to give you a major shout out for posting that pic of the man-boy angel from the halftime show! That is just so bizarre that there are no words! When I saw it on TV, I thought, well I’m going to have to Google that later to see it closer. And voila.