We made it to another glorious Friday. I woke up this morning with that Friday Wong running through my head, but the Stephen Colbert version, which I recommend you watch in a hurry if you love to laugh (and i know you do).
Of course, time for me to make excuses as to why this Roundup is late. I was snuggling Mama’s Little Petri Dish who was running a fever. As much as I love celebrity gossip, snuggling babies always trumps it. It’s a tough life I lead when I have to choose between snuggling with a baby and writing about celebrity gossip. Somebody pinch me, I must be dreaming!
Anyway, stuffs have been going down this week in the world of celebrities – especially some you’re sick and tired of reading about, for crying out loud, so without further ado, let’s talk about how Beyonce and Jayz have trademarked their child’s name.
Yes, it’s true: Jay-Z and Beyonce have filed paperwork to trademark the moniker of their month old daughter, Blue Ivy. If you like it then you should put a TM on it.
Sources speculate this is a purely business move and the couple have some baby-related products in the work that will hold the Blue Ivy name ™ (I don’t want to get sued by Jay-Z.) That’s exactly why you have kids, right? To make money off their name and also so they will help you fold socks.
We can only hope to someday buy our own version of Blue Ivy’s $1000 stroller that was gifted to her by Beyonce’s BFF Gwynneth Paltrow.
Sick and tired of Blue Ivy yet? Moving on.
Did y’all watch the glorious comedy/tragedy that was the Madonna Superbowl halftime show? It started with 53-year-old Madonna Vogue-ing like it’s 1990 and ended with shaking her pom poms on a bleacher and I wish that was a euphemism. Literally, shaking pom poms on bleachers. In between there was some LMFAO and a tightrope walker named SkAndy and M.I.A. flipping off the camera because behaving herself for one minute and 30 seconds was just too difficult. Your basic 3 ring circus, minus two rings and an elephant.
And then there is Gisele Bundchen, wife of Patriots quarterback Tom Brady,who responded to a Giants fan’s comments after the game with a smile, then said the following to her friend in reference to the Patriot’s errors during the game: ”My husband cannot f*****g throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time.” She also momentarily lost her mind by thinking some camera wouldn’t catch that. All this from the woman who asked her friends to pray for a win last week.
After the comment, everyone had to weigh in, from Giants’ running back Brandon Jacobs: “[she should] stay cute and shut up” to Kristin Cavallari: “Kind of loving how Gisele stuck up for her man” (she can say that because she tricked an NFL player into being her baby daddy) to a bevy of Victoria’s Secret Angels: ““I think you always have to stand up for your husband, you’re a team. And you know if she did that, I would’ve done the same,”; “Leave her alone!”
I know what you’re thinking. Am I reading last week’s Roundup? Didn’t she just talk about Madonna and Gisele? Yes I did. Sick and tired. Moving on.
When I’m reporting celebrity divorces, the signing of the divorce papers always feels like a nice, tidy wrap up to the story, and that’s exactly what we have with the ongoing saga of star-crossed-lovers-slash-odd-couple Katy Perry and Russel Brand, who finalized their divorce this week less than 18 months after they tied the knot.
The divorce will become final six months from the date of filing. Although the couple did not have a pre-nuptial agreement in place, Brand is not seeking any money from Perry. He doesn’t need it; he has a successful career playing sociopaths.
If there were any rumors that Katy Perry was unhappy about the divorce, the smiley face she drew on the documents quelled them. I can imagine she did the same with all the photos of the two of them together.
Oh boy, more news!
- Giant’s line backer Greg Jones proposed to his girlfriend of two years after his Superbowl win Sunday, and his mama ain’t happy about it. If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.
- Naomi Watts will play Princess Di in an upcoming biopic. QUICK! Make a movie about the Royals before people stop caring again!
- Macauley Culkin is fine, you guys. Can’t a guy lose 20 pounds and look like a meth addict without people judging? Sheesh.
- Camila Alves showed off her new bling from fiance Matthew McConaughey this week. People, it took me 10 minutes to spell his last name. Good luck with that, sister.
- Bruce Willis blames Ashton Kutcher for Demi Moore‘s recent breakdown. Um. Duh?
- Chris Brown is planning an ‘Over the Top’ Grammy Awards performance this Sunday. Who is still inviting Chris Brown to perform? He’s like a cockroach: you keep crunching them and they keep showing up in your garbage.
- The Spice Girls are considering a reunion. Wait — Vogue? Spice Girls? HAVE WE ALL TIME TRAVELED BACK TO THE 90S?
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