Celebrity Roundup: Fallout

I’m going to see how fast I can write this Roundup tonight. I’m basically a half hour from a cough medicine induced haze of delicious slumber. They gave me the good stuff at the walk-in urgent care Saturday.

Oh, you didn’t hear? I basically fell apart this weekend and an overworked emergency medicine physician — who I waited 2 hours to see — spent 15 minutes telling me how my ear was infected. Ear infection. I thought those were only for babies, but apparently not. So on top of that, I had a sinus infection (WebMD diagnosed that one) and then on top of that a fever and then on top of THAT, pink eye. I mean honestly. Why don’t I just sprain my ankle or something and call it a full house.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK that’s me knocking on our coffee table so I won’t actually sprain my ankle. Sister Fate is pretty cruel like that.

So this week’s roundup features the fallout of some of the biggest stories of the past few weeks as well as the fallout of my illness, or as I was calling it Sunday, “when did I drink two bottles of red wine and 3 tequilla shots? ‘Cause it feels like I’m hungover.”

Good times.

Not having good times this week? Chris Brown, who is the very definition  of a hot mess. After Chris’ Grammy performance a few weeks ago, he’s been popping up everywhere like a tornado of bad decisions and anger management issues. First, he sent a message to his critics right after the Grammys by Tweeting the following:

HATE ALL U WANT BECUZ I GOT A GRAMMY Now! That’s the ultimate F*** OFF!

Now that’s the way to endear yourself to all the people who are holding the grudge from three years ago!

After this classless grandstanding, Chris Brown started a Twitter feud with country music star Miranda Lambert, who dared question his double performance at the Grammys, by accusing her of using his name for publicity. Chris, are you sure you want to mess with a woman who wrote a song about shooting with a shotgun the boyfriend who hit her? Just sayin’.  It’s Chris Brown’s world, we’re just living in it, folks.

Brown ignited a firestorm early this week after he and ex-girlfriend Rihanna simultaneously released songs featuring the other person.  The release angered and confused fans and detractors alike, including  wrestler CM Punk and comic Kevin Seccia, who both suggested someone needs to beat up Brown — and the latter offering $1000 to the individual who does it. I’ve heard worse ideas.

Let’s not forget that Chris Brown stole some girl’s phone because he didn’t want a picture she took of him to show up on ‘no website’ and the fact that he’s allegedly in an ‘open relationship’ while ‘collaborating’ with Rihanna.

Can we all agree that Chris Brown is just a really, really awful person?

(PS this is where I had to stop and pick up Friday.)

So you thought Whitney Houston’s Saturday Home Going Celebration was going to be the last news we’d hear from that clan for awhile? Oh you are so, so wrong.

The continued drama began at the funeral , when Whitney’s ex-husband, singer Bobby Brown, left a few minutes after he arrived at the New Jersey church. Bobby Brown, who arrived with an entourage of nine people, including children from other relationships, became angry after security asked he and his group to move to different seats in the packed church several times. He was also frustrated that he wasn’t allowed to speak with his daughter with Houston, 18-year-old Bobbi Kristina Brown upon arrival.

I’m shocked that church didn’t implode from all those egos in one place.

Bobbi Kristina Brown has struggling with the death of her mother and using drugs to cope, according to a report from US Weekly. Friends say she is ‘hurt and lost’ after her mother’s sudden death. Although Bobbi Kristina grew up in a home where drugs were a part of life, Bobbi’s grandmother, Cissy Houston, refutes the claim that the teen has a substance abuse problem. I hope they are keeping close tabs on that little girl.

More drama for yo mama:

• Zac Effron dropped a condom on the red carpet at The Lorax opening Thursday. Oh my gah, that’s a mental image I can’t unsee.
• Elton John cancelled his concert in Las Vegas after he claimed he was poisoned, although sources say he suffered from food poisoning. Guess he didn’t want everyone to know he was at the all-you-can-eat-shrimp buffet at Circus Circus.
• Sinead O’Connor added posing for Playboy to her bucket list. Hugh Heffner said, “Ok, sure. Right after the world runs out of buxom blonde women, you’re next on our list.”
• Justin Timberlake finally put a ring on it. And he and fiance Jessica Biel have set a date. And now all we need is for those pigs to start flying.
• Jessica Simpson says she feels like a ‘big blob’ heading into her final weeks of pregnancy. This is why we stay away from sequins in the final trimester, Jessica.

• The Bachelor contestant Courtney Sodden has been calling fellow contestant names like horsey and fatty. It’s like she’s Snow White and they are her terribly named dwarf friends.
• Former reality star Kate Goslin told Dr. Drew she is ‘lonely’ and longs for companionship. pssst. Kate. You do realize you have eight kids you could pay attention to…right?

Now, head over to Surferwife’s Fashion Disasters and discover how you probably have more style than some of the models at New York Fashion Week.

Don’t forget, we’re in our final few days of #BloggersWorstDressed! Enter to win some great jewelry from Daisy & Elm.

We had TWO WINNERS this week and they will BOTH win EyeDews. The winners are:

• Samantha at Life as Wife with the cutest apartment monster EVAH.
• Ducky at Batcrap Crazy, who won for her turtleneck and glasses alone (I have similar pictures, Ducky).

Congrats ladies! Email Surferwife to claim your prize.

That’s a wrap for this week! For all my readers today who are at BlissDom, enjoy your time there — and if you can, tell a friend about the Roundup while you’re there.