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Today’s Celebrity Roundup is sponsored by my coffee pot, Excedrin and the phrase “there is not enough caffeine in the WORLD…”
Because, face it, we’re all dragging this week. Although I’m still trying to figure out why, exactly, this week has been so difficult to get through, two things are for sure: we made it and Monday is a paid holiday (for me)(and I hope you too)(except Moms never really get a paid holiday, hmm?)
We can thank one Dr. Martin Luther King for this extra bonus day of doing laundry and napping when the baby naps and going to Texas Roadhouse for the “Two can dine for $15 special” . We’re still working toward his dream of equality, but I have a dream of my own — a world where celebrities stop being ridiculous and acting a fool all the time. But then again, what would we talk about on Fridays?
Like, for instance, the the firestorm surrounding the birth of baby Blue Ivy, daughter of Beyonce and Jay-Z, born this weekend at Lenox Hill Hospital in NYC.
First there were reports that Bey and Jay’s entourage kept a man from spending time with his newborns and wife in the NICU, but then the executive director of the hospital claimed that wasn’t so. The couple were also rumored to have spent $1.3 million renting out and remodeling the maternity floor of the hospital, but turns out that’s not true either.
Credit: TMZ; AP Photo/Matt Sayles
The truth is, the Beyonce “gave birth” in an 5-star, $800/night (because I guess now hospitals charge by the night) birthing suite complete with four flat-screen TVs, several gray and cream sofas, mahogany walls, an extra bed and down comforter and a kitchenette. Well, you know, I had a rocking chair from 1964 in my birthing room so…………………….
Oh, and Beyonce might have faked her pregnancy. That’s still up in the air.
One thing is for certain: Jay-Z did in fact write a rap for his days-old daughter with lyrics such as”
Bad ass Lil Hov
2 years old, shopping on Savile Row
Wicked ass lil B
Hard not to spoil you rotten looking like little me
The song ends with the sound of his newborn baby crying, which, if that didn’t make you tear up just a little then I have to question our friendship.
Thursday, Billboard announced the song entered the charts at 74, making little Blue Ivy Carter (BIC if you’re nasty) the youngest person ever to appear on the list. My dream? That celebrities wait at least a couple years before calling their child a “bad ass”.
Heather Locklear is probably also ready for her long weekend. Heather was rushed to the hospital Thursday afternoon for a possible overdose of prescription medication and alcohol. Her sister placed a 911 call around 2 pm PST, describing the situation as a “suicide attempt” (which turned out to be untrue).
Heather Locklear’s parents released a statement today, saying she’s “no longer in danger” and “medically stable”. No word on her discharge. You know, I may be tired, but at least I didn’t overdose on drugs this week. So there’s that.
This year, I have a dream that all the c0-dependent people in celebrities lives find the courage to tell them no before another one overdoses.
More news? Don’t mind if I do!
- Rihanna skipped the People’s Choice Awards to attend a Clippers game — in the stadium right across the street from the ceremony. The Clippers’ dream has come true: they are finally relevant. <end sports humor>
- Halle Berry got engaged but then didn’t get engaged. You know you’re a celebrity when you can buy an engagement ring to symbolize goin’ steady. Either a celebrity or an 8th grader.
- Kelly Osbourne debuted a new grey hair color at the People’s Choice Awards and claimed her mom hated it. You’re mom is a smart lady.
- Former reality “star” Tila Tequila is converting to Judaism because “Jewish people have a beautiful way about them.” Jewish people everywhere are saying, “no, we don’t’ want her.”
- Is Demi Moore on the rebound? Reports say she’s dating 26-year-old personal trainer Corl-Biaetti. LA twenty-somethings to Demi: “Quit taking our men!”
- What do you get when you cross Tim Tebow with David Bowie? Jimmy Fallon says you get Tebowie! I can’t get enough of the Tebow parodies.
- Princess Catherine and Prince William are proud parents….of a new puppy! Maybe that’ll put a stop to all those pregnancy rumors.
You know what? Maybe my dream isn’t for celebrities to stop being stupid. Instead, I’m going to dream of MORE salacious news in the new year!
Have a great weekend!
What was your favorite story of the week? Sound off! on my Facebook page! Click “like” below to get in on the conversation!
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I LOVE Celeb Roundup! No one does it better than you!
You are TOO KIND! Thanks for the sweet comment. I LOVE to write this post. Seriously, my favorite of the week.
I do look forward to Friday for your round-up. I don’t get Monday off, but my son’s school is closed so I’m taking a sick day.
Maybe Demi should try being alone for a while. Or with someone her own age. Like Bruce Willis.
Roxanne recently posted..Is Elmer’s tastier than Rose Art?
Right!? I mean I think they are still friends. Maybe it’s time to relight that old fire, huh?
Yes!
Although, didn’t he get remarried? Probably to some 20-something. What is it with these crazies?
Roxanne recently posted..Is Elmer’s tastier than Rose Art?
Twitter: MissMarinaStar
“Either a celebrity or an 8th grader.” Ha! So cracking up.
I had a dream that you’d do another great Celebrity Roundup and it totally came true!
Miss Marina Star recently posted..Trust
OH, you’re so sweet. Thank you! It was a slow news week so I had to pull some of this out of my ass. My bad ass, as Jay-Z would say.
My favorite QOF(quote of friend) this week; well two quotes come from Trevor Weatherhead (name changed for his security)
1. It will take me a while to starting writing the year 1 after my month and date as well as “ABIC” instead of “AD”. Get it, After Blue Ivy Carter?
2. Is that really Tim Tebow’s GF? Because if it is,then he cannot be a virgin, cause a certain inevitable phenomenon would prevent him from assuming his famous pose.” Referring to a commenter’s photo in this article: http://gawker.com/5875125/the-non-sports-fans-guide-to-tim-tebow?tag=explainer
Twitter: SaidKristin
I was so moved by all the Babyonce (thank you Mommy Shorts for that term that I’ve jacked for my own maniacal use) hype, I actually wrote about it myself today!
But not about Jay-Z’s new song. Because – and I know this is going to make me sound really unhip, which I am – I really don’t know what a “bad ass HOV” is. And as for Little Baby Blue looking like him… meh. Let’s hope she got her mother’s looks. Because as much as Beyonce may sound like cat’s mating when she sings, she’s awfully purdy.
And would it have been too much to ask for him NOT to curse in a tribute song to his NEWBORN DAUGHTER?!
Kristin @ What She Said recently posted..Babyonce and the Mayan Calendar: Coincidence?
Twitter: bestoffates
In his defense… maybe that baby is a badass.
Megan (Best of Fates) recently posted..Fake Board Games For Obsessive Fans (How I Met Your Mother Edition)
Ahh the song. Though the gesture itself (and the baby crying in the end) is sweet, the song itself is just weird. But then again so was the whole pregnancy, so I guess this fits right in!
Angie@MamaInsomnia recently posted..The first #FFFriday link-up
That Tebowie skit had us all hysterical here. Thanks for sharing it!
Twitter: jmomiller
Did you hear the rumor about Demi and Bradie Granville? Yeah.. I found that one awkward!
Crazy Shenanigans recently posted..10 Day YOU Challenge: Day 9
Our hospital had suites too where you could take home a plush robe and have a fruit basket delivered to your home along with some other hotel amenities that I don’t remember. I decided to pass because, you know, giving birth isn’t exactly a vacation. Nor did I want a commemorative robe.
Rach (DonutsMama) recently posted..Life’s Lessons: Naps Are Awesome
Twitter: AlisonSWLee
The hospital suite sounds much nicer than my home!!!
You know, I don’t read celebrity news anywhere but here, Amanda!
Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..Purple Leaves, Red Cherries: A Review
Twitter: kallaydoscope
I heard a nasty rumor that Rihanna was thinking about getting back together with Chris Brown? I would quite literally shat my pants. That girl has lost her ridiculous mind!
Demi is becoming quite the cougar! My, my!
Kallay recently posted..50 Questions That Will Free Your Mind {4 – 8}
I didn’t know Halle Berry and I had so much in common.
I mean, when I was in 7th grade, Robbie Mitchell gave me a pair of gold-plated earrings and asked me to be his girlfriend right before Christmas Vacation (that’s what we called it back then).
I said yes, but then I got really nervous I might have to kiss him the next time we saw each other. So I spent all two weeks of vacation sick to my stomach then skipped the first week back at school. Five straight days of avoidance. When my mom finally made me go to campus and face him, I told Robbie we couldn’t “go” together anymore.
Just like Halle Berry, right?
XO
julie gardner recently posted..Today call me inspired
It’s almost like you guys are twins! <3
Twitter: euregirlsandboy
I’m still not convinced Beyonce actually had a baby.
I hope you enjoyed your long weekend. I’ve still been at work today just like it’s any old day. But at least I got to sneak out of the house while the kids were still in bed!
Katie E recently posted..Magazine Day
I also dream that Jay Z wouldn’t have called his daughter a bad ass quite yet. I have yet to listen to this song yet though I’ve heard much about it. Demi needs to date some more mature.
JMJE recently posted..I Pintered-3 Easy Meals