People! I’m back!
Welcome back, Amanda. We missed you but really loved your guest posters and sort of want them back because they didn’t wait until Friday to post it, so…..
Don’t be ungrateful. I have some exciting news.
Last night I was going through some old magazines and noticed seven out of ten US Weekly covers had Kim Kardashian on the cover.
Like what the heck?
Then I heard the Kardashians were planning to design Barbie dolls in their image, like they are some kind of Godesses of a race of plastic people, and also starting their own magazine because I guess every single gossip rag cover isn’t enough for them.
Brand dilution. They has it.
I made an executive decision as head curator, editor and writer of the Celebrity Roundup that beginning after the jump, It’s Blogworthy will be a Kardashian Free Zone. Yes, you heard me right. You will no longer hear a single peep about the Kardashian Klan, no matter how much they are begging for our attention.
Round of applause?
JUMP! (Get it? After the jump?)
Last week, we reported that Katy Perry and Russell Brand were fixin’ to bust up their marriage after they spent Christmas apart. And in true celebrity fashion, they announced their breakup last Friday right after we posted the Roundup (figures).
According to sources, Katy Perry and Russell Brand were at odds over their very different lifestyles. Russell reportedly didn’t appreciate Katy’s partying ways and wanted her to “tone it down” and Katy is afraid of her parents, God fearing people who thought Russell was El Diablo.
The couple are wasting no time wiping their marriage slate clean, as moving vans were already seen outside their Los Angeles home.
WOAH HOLD THE PHONE, guess who got engaged? Long time on-again-off-again couple Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake! *cue the sounds of lots of lonely 30 somethings ripping up their Justin Timberlake posters from 1998.*
After a three month split in early 2011, the couple reunited, and Justin Timberlake reportedly popped the question in the mountains of Jackson, Wyoming, while snowboarding.
Ok, is it just me, or is Jessica Biel sort of boringly perfect? Give me Britney Spears and her cray cray any day of the week.
Who needs a 2012 slate wipe? Nick Cannon, otherwise known as Mr. Mariah Carey, who was hospitalized this week for “mild kidney failure”. The couple were vacationing in Aspen for New Years when Nick Cannon became ill. Mariah was all up in his business, refusing to leave his room when asked and going so far as to lay in the bed with him, because clearly her needs are more important than his health.
He was later transferred to an LA hospital for continued monitoring. Physicians all over the world got super excited about the potential of being contacted by People magazine to discuss kidney failure.
GAH AMANDA! NOT ENOUGH! MORE CELEBRITY NEWS!
You want it? You got it!
- Elton John wants Justin Timberlake to play him in an upcoming biopic. So basically, Justin was an actor, who became a singer, who became an actor who plays a singer. I think the Mayans knew this was going to happen.
- Salma Hayek will be knighted (or chevaliered) by the president of France. That’s right, the same woman who voiced Kitty Softpaws in Puss in Boots is going to be a knight. Let that one sink in.
- Marc Anothony, aka Skelator, has rebounded after his divorce from Jennifer Lopez with Venezualian model Shannon DeLima. They announced it on the Twitter, so that’s how you know it’s serious.
- AC Slater — er, Mario Lopez — is making it legal with baby-mama Courtney Mazza. He proposed by saying he wanted the mother of his child to have their last name. Always the romantic, that one.
- Teen Mom Leah Messner is engaged to boyfriend Jeremy Calvert — and expecting their first baby together. This will be the second marriage and third child for 20 year old Messner. Honey, it’s life, not NASCAR. Slow down.
- Sinead O’Connor continued her ride on the crazy train when, after just last week announcing she was divorcing her husband of less than a month, Tweeted that they were back together after hours of makeup sex. It’s news like this that makes me wish Twitter was never invented.
- Jessica Simpson expressed her desire for a rockin’ hot post-baby bod a-la Jessica Alba on Twitter Tuesday. Girl, to look like Jessica Alba post-baby, it helps to look like her at some point BEFORE baby.
- Kanye West went on a three hour Twitter rant Wednesday night, comparing himself to Steve Jobs. ‘Cause revolutionizing the way society communicates is exactly the same as developing your own cologne.
- Demi Levato also ranted on Twitter this week, sending several messages about God and why he’s making her life so hard. Yeah, whew, God certainly hasn’t blessed you in the slightest, as you Tweet from your private cabana in St. Thomas.
What was your favorite story of the week? How excited are about my big announcement?