Celebrity Roundup: Clean Slate

People! I’m back!

Welcome back, Amanda. We missed you but really loved your guest posters and sort of want them back because they didn’t wait until Friday to post it, so…..

Don’t be ungrateful. I have some exciting news.

Last night I was going through some old magazines and noticed seven out of ten US Weekly covers had Kim Kardashian on the cover.

Like what the heck?

Then I heard the Kardashians were planning to design Barbie dolls in their image, like they are some kind of Godesses of a race of plastic people, and also starting their own magazine because I guess every single gossip rag cover isn’t enough for them.

Brand dilution. They has it.

I made an executive decision as head curator, editor and writer of the Celebrity Roundup that beginning after the jump, It’s Blogworthy will be a Kardashian Free Zone. Yes, you heard me right. You will no longer hear a single peep about the Kardashian Klan, no matter how much they are begging for our attention.

Round of applause?

JUMP! (Get it? After the jump?)

Last week, we reported that Katy Perry and Russell Brand were fixin’ to bust up their marriage after they spent Christmas apart. And in true celebrity fashion, they announced their breakup last Friday right after we posted the Roundup (figures).

According to sources, Katy Perry and Russell Brand were at odds over their very different lifestyles. Russell reportedly didn’t appreciate Katy’s partying ways and wanted her to “tone it down” and Katy is afraid of her parents, God fearing people who thought Russell was El Diablo.

The couple are wasting no time wiping their marriage slate clean, as moving vans were already seen outside their Los Angeles home.

WOAH HOLD THE PHONE, guess who got engaged? Long time on-again-off-again couple Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake! *cue the sounds of lots of lonely 30 somethings ripping up their Justin Timberlake posters from 1998.*

After a three month split in early 2011, the couple reunited, and Justin Timberlake reportedly popped the question in the mountains of Jackson, Wyoming, while snowboarding.

Ok, is it just me, or is Jessica Biel sort of boringly perfect? Give me Britney Spears and her cray cray any day of the week.

Who needs a 2012 slate wipe? Nick Cannon, otherwise known as Mr. Mariah Carey, who was hospitalized this week for “mild kidney failure”. The couple were vacationing in Aspen for New Years when Nick Cannon became ill. Mariah was all up in his business, refusing to leave his room when asked and going so far as to lay in the bed with him, because clearly her needs are more important than his health.

He was later transferred to an LA hospital for continued monitoring. Physicians all over the world got super excited about the potential of being contacted by People magazine to discuss kidney failure.





You want it? You got it!

Speaking of Twitter…
Maybe if she got a tattoo of Jesus like Justin Beiber, she would get on the Big Guy’s good side.
You guys? It’s good to be back.
What was your favorite story of the week? How excited are about my big announcement?

While you're here, why not go "Like" my Facebook page, for the latest celebrity gossip and updates as they happen!

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