Who among us remembers the saga of the loaner phone?
I’m concerned tonight; concerned that I’m about to embark on another situation in which I have to return a phone to Sprint because it’s stopped working. I’m concerned that I’ll receive another loaner phone littered with old text messages about drug deals. I’m concerned because my phone is where all my friends live.
It’s sort of a bummer of a way to start the weekend.
Luckily, I can cheer myself up with a whole bunch of celebrity gossip. We had a good variety this week; not too much happy, not too much sad; just enough weird and random stuff to make me squeal in delight. If this was a sports blog, which is it clearly not, I’d say celebrities were batting 1000 this week.
Anne Hathaway, known best for starring in the Princess Diaries (at least known best for that around my house), announced she recently became engaged to long time boyfriend Adam Shulman.
Wait, wasn’t she in the Nanny Diaries, too? Or something like that?
Anyway, the actress, also known for hosting the most awkward Academy Award ceremony EVAH and dating that one dude who ended up stealing all her money, was spotted in Brooklyn sporting a pretty nice looking diamond ring. And he even used his own money, unlike that scumbag she used to date.
What was that movie she was in? It was based on some book I read while lounging in the sun back in college….
Moving on to a story I’m far less invested in (and believe you me, I’m as surprised as you are that Anne Hathaway was my lead story this week), rumors have been floating around the Twit this week that newlyweds Russell Brand and Katy Perry’s marriage is heading for some trouble. Nobody saw that one coming, huh?
(The Devil Wears Prada! That’s the movie!)
But don’t believe everything you read on an AOL Music website, because according to the always reliable TMZ, their marriage is as strong as ever — proven by their highly photographed couple’s tattoo trip. Brand was inked with the badge of his favorite soccer team, the West Ham United, while Perry opted for a smiling peppermint. You know what they say about the couple who gets strange tattoos together…
In “please please please don’t X out of this browser yet” news, Kourtney Kardashian is expecting another wonderfully entitled bundle of joy with boyfriend Scott Disick. It’s been several weeks since Kim and Kris announced their divorce and it’s basically Kourtney’s turn to keep the family in the spotlight. She told E! the pregnancy wasn’t a surprise because they weren’t really trying but weren’t NOT trying, which means if you’re a Kardashian you can do anything you want and not worry about the consequences or things like, say, how you’d afford to put two children in daycare.
Sources report their wedding is “imminent”, especially since their new E! Show needs a season finale.
Better get that silver spoon designed right now, Kourtney!
Want a few more celebrity homeruns? (Lord, what’s with the sports talk today? Enjoy it while it lasts, sports fans.)
- Miley Cyrus celebrated her birthday with a ‘Bob Miley’ cake and then proclaimed herself to be a stoner. Hold on to your loose items, the earth is about to shake after Bob Marley rolls over in his grave. (And there’s video!)
- Tori Spelling turned innocent arts and crafts into baby canabalism this Thanksgiving after she tweeted a picture of her new baby dressed as a cooked turkey.
- Taylor Swift wants to star in Les Miz. Um, Taylor? That play is not about princess so you’re probably not cut out for it. Sorry.
- In an interview with People, Ali Fedotowski, former Bachelorette, said fighting with ex-fiance Roberto Martinez became too much, leading to their breakup. You just wonder why people can’t figure out they aren’t going to work while they are dating…I mean, isn’t 8 weeks enough time to know?
- Mariah Carey and Justin Bieber their new video, a remake of her classic “All I Want for Christmas is You”. An implied love affair between a 40 year old woman dressed in a sexy Santa costume and a 17 year old boy was never so entertaining.
- Jennifer Lopez sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G her backup dancer Casper Smart. Hey, maybe there’s some truth to those “I drive my Fiat in the streets of the Bronx!” commercials after all.
- Mindy McCreedy, 90s country music singer turned 00′s trainwreck, was accused of kidnapping her 5-year-old son, then announced she’s pregnant with an unknown man’s twin babies. Country music…personified.
- Kris Humphries filed for an annulment from Kim Kardashian, claiming fraud. Sounds about right.