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Last Wednesday I talked vaguely about some changes going on in my life. They are work related and it’s going to be fine. In fact, I really think once it’s all said and done, it’s going to be great and I’ll thrive. I’m going to be doing the same thing (probably more of it) but with a new team, new manager and new physical office location.
No matter how good it can be, change? Still sucks.
We had a communications retreat Thursday facilitated by the HR department. You know HR departments, always with the research based justification of your feelings.
Waiting for us at our assigned seats was this chart:
And after sufficiently rolling my eyes, I realized all of this made sense. I went through the same kinds of things when I gave birth to my son, and that was a good change. And look how it’s turned out!
Check it:
Stage 1: You’re fearful of the change. You can’t picture yourself in this new role. You’re paralyzed. Work and life almost comes to a halt.
Stage 2: You become resentful of the change and skeptical that it’s the right thing or that it will ever become normal again. Life goes on, but hesitantly.
Stage 3: You’re anxious of the changes happening around you and confused how you fit in or how you can deal with the change. Life is happening, but you’re not very good at it.
DANGER ZONE: You dont’ stop singing “Danger Zone”.
Stage 4: You begin to see that this change could be a good thing. They use the word “anticipation” but to me that has some negative connotations, so I would add “eager”. You start thinking creatively and seeing yourself in the new role.
Stage 5: You start feeling more confident and productive.
Stage 5.5: You’re probably alseep by now because this post has bored you to tears (or you’re still singing Danger Zone in your head.)
Stage 6: You have integrated into your new change and you’re focused. You’ve come to terms with this change; you’re at peace.
Who among us Mamas hasn’t been paralyzed with fear holding our newborn? Skeptical that it’ll ever get better? Eager to learn and grow with your baby? Filled with joy and contentment as you roll around on the floor tickling a laughing baby?
It’s normal. It’s natural. It will pass.
If you see a yellow light, do you slow down or do you speed up? It’s the same way with stages of change. We all move through the stages of change at different speeds. Sometimes you fly through, sometimes you linger. Neither is right, neither is wrong.
Do you know how comforting this was to me? There on paper in red, yellow and green was confirmation that I wasn’t ungrateful, unkind or beyond hope. I embraced my place in stage 1 and knew that I’d eventually move on. It might take time, but I’d get there.
The HR rep gave us a quote I’ve heard a thousand times: “You can’t choose what happens, but you can choose how you react to it,” and it’s never made more sense to me. Yes, yes indeed. I have a job. I have a job I love, doing what I love. I will still work in close proximity to the people I work with now, and in a similar capacity. Really, not much is change except for my desk and manager.
We decided, collectively, to laugh so we won’t cry by doing some arts and crafts Tuesday afternoon. We cut out representations of ourselves and placed them where we are currently on the stages of change wheel. When we move forward, we change our mini-mes. If we move back, we move our little people back.
Here is mine:
Cut from this picture of me holding the bottle of wine my fabulous cube neighbor bought for me for my weekend wine drinking.
I think I’ll be ok.
Have you experience the stages of change? When was the last time you had a good ol’ fashioned HR course?
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Twitter: MamaWantsThis
Yes, I think you’ll be A-OK.
Changes are scary, but also exciting. I gave up a 10-year promising career, on the verge of something more, so we could start a family. It was like my life turned upside down, inside out. And when the baby arrived, I was scared. I was crapping my pants, but I kept telling myself, all the tough times will pass and I will grow into this. I will.
And I have.
Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..200th Post & 1st Giveaway
That’s a great testimony to how things are going to turn out with me. I know I’ll get through it — knowing that is, for me, half the battle. It lets me just stew in my feelings and indulge in that first stage and honestly as a result, its’ helped me move to the second stage!
Twitter: euregirlsandboy
I think it looks like you’ll certainly be fine, but I agree – change is always so hard. I never exactly welcome it even though I know it’s good sometimes. We had a fun HR meeting last week where each department in the corporate office was paired up with another department to write on post its what we want “more of” and “less of” from the other department. Then rotate to the next department! Not really that fun.
Katie E recently posted..Wordless Wednesday: Baby Butt
You have such an awesome work environment. I feel good that it’ll keep being awesome.
Me too. They are all geeky tech people on my new team, so I know it’ll be fine.
Twitter: kallaydoscope
Haha! I love it! I’m glad to hear that you’re doing better. It sounds like you have a pretty understanding upper management. Thank your lucky stars for that! Our’s *sucked*. (You know, back in the day when I wasn’t CEO of The Home, and had a job that came with a paycheck and benefits!)
And also, I’ll be singing Danger Zone all day. I used to LOVE that song when I was little.
Kallay recently posted..Food Fodder: Oh, How Pinteresting!
You may be CEO of the home, but you ain’t the boss
Yes, everyone is really and truly understanding and helpful. It helps so much when you feel like they are on your side.
Yes that chart they left for you at your desk is great – but I’d feel a bit annoyed that they would leave it for me at my desk (call me snarky but still…) I liked your chart much better.
Change is scary and yes I do remember that moment I had my newborn in my arms going, WTF?!
Just fasten your seatbelt. You will be OK.
Ado recently posted..Trying on Top Hats at the Fleadgh
Well, in their defense, it was on the table at my retreat..but yeah…I see where you’re going with this!
All I have to say is wine makes everything better. Oh, and that I wish my neighbors brought me wine!
Natalie recently posted..What I’ve Learned Since Becoming A Mom (The Things That Suck)
That’s why I’ve been drinking a glass every night. I figure the it’s combating the stress on my heart
Twitter: kristinzas
Dude, you look smoking!
KLZ recently posted..#iPPP How to Ride the Train
Even the button that’s about to pop open? Thank you friend
Twitter: AwesomeHutch
That pictures makes me so proud!
Hutch recently posted..PYHO: Ohhh, to Never Be 23 Again
I wish you were in this picture too!
Twitter: AwesomeHutch
It will happen!
Hutch recently posted..PYHO: Ohhh, to Never Be 23 Again
Twitter: SaidKristin
I don’t know about motherhood, but I pretty much go through that entire range of emotions every single day at work. Except I often don’t make it to stages 5 and 6 before the day ends and I have to start all over again the next day. In fact, I’m pretty sure I mainly spend my days in the Danger Zone reading blogs.
Kristin @ What She Said recently posted..I’m Only Here to Show Off
Truth be told, red should just be renamed “blog wasteland” because that’s what I’ve been feeling the past few days
Twitter: gfunkified
You’re so funny. I hope you get out of the red zone soon.
Thanks for the lesson!
Greta @gfunkified recently posted..Ready To Go #iPPP
I hope so too…I’m feeling a little more “yellow” today!
LOL!! I love the pic of you with the bottle of wine!!
Sounds like you’re embracing the change! And with that all should go well!
Jackie recently posted..Wordless Wednesday ~ Camera Bandits
Twitter: lindsTR
Love this post… because I can totally relate, obvs!!! We will be OK, it will just take some time. And we have each other for support! I’m grateful and thankful! And I love my chart with my mini-me pic…
Brain Twins!
Twitter: KimberlyAMuro
That’s exactly how I felt when I gave up my career to focus on our family. It was terrifying and paralyzing. But, I pushed through at whatever pace felt right for me and it all worked out. Now I couldn’t imagine my life any different.
You’ll be great! It might take time, but everything will be ok. And? You look awesome in that photo!
Kimberly recently posted..Some Days Are Hard
Yeah, and I’m sure looking back, you’re all, “that wasn’t so bad!” I know this change will be the same way for me.
Oh my goodness can we PLEASE meet up soon and watch Top Gun while sharing a bottle of wine?
(Or two. shhhh.)
p.s. Anyone as smart, funny, loyal and loving as you will turn out just fine. In the long run. With or without Tom Cruise and a pair of aviator glasses.
p.s.s. Kenny Loggins. Really?
julie gardner recently posted..Today call me short
I would like nothing better than that to happen. We’re too of the most danger zon-ey people I know. If Danger zon-ey means making up words and blogging.
Twitter: bestoffates
True story? I’ve never seen Top Gun. I know, I’m like a societal outcast.
Megan (Best of Fates) recently posted..Forcing a Dog to Read a Book (Or Why I Need To Get Out More)
Twitter: bestoffates
I think I go through those same stages when changing outfits.
It’s just to hard to let go.
Megan (Best of Fates) recently posted..Forcing a Dog to Read a Book (Or Why I Need To Get Out More)
Or how about deciding dinner? I for real go through this many nights.
Twitter: mytimeasmom
You will be just fine. Go forward in the wheel and continue drinking wine. It will all be okay.
Twitter: Mommyspen
I love it when research CAN actually justify your feelings! Such a relief
Sue @ Mommy’s Pen recently posted..My Thumbs are Sore
Me too! Honestly, coming from a communications research background, I really enjoy this kind of thing…totally nerdy
But knowing the process is comforting.
Twitter: NaynaDub
Good luck to you with this change! I’m sure it’s all definitely scary but sounds like it’s a good opportunity and sometimes change is fun in the end. Yes, that wheel definitely can go along with parenting. I love the wine addition!
Elena recently posted..A Double Bust
Twitter: laurenweber84
Change can be a good thing! My life has also been full of change this past year, but I’ve also never been so “in touch” with myself. It’s amazing what a little life shake-up can do to you.
And, yes, I was singing “Highway to the Danger Zone” the second I read that part.
Mrs. Weber recently posted..My Mom Purse – Help!
I knew you would!
I agree so much with this. I’ve noticed things about myself I never noticed before this change. I think its’ going to be good in the long run.
Twitter: amymacsmusings
I’ve been singing “Highway to the Danger Zone” ever since I read your post! Love it…and I wish you the best in this new chapter of your work life. Hugs to you! (Oh and a sloppy drool kiss from Aidan)
Amy recently posted..#iPPP Thoughts from Aidan
Twitter: jmomiller
Remind of this post when I finally get my transfer! Love the wine pic!
Oh don’t worry… I WILL!!!
Twitter: southmainmuse
I’m afraid I get stuck on the speed bump of resenting change. Esp. if it’s not a change that was my idea..But you are right. It is a process, and once we accept change and search for positives, things do seem better.
Jamie recently posted..I got the shoes. Musing on finding desire. #running
I’m so glad your HR folks have such awesome crisis response skills. LOL! I hope everything goes smoothly with you and all the changes to come.
Best,
Tina
Tina recently posted..Mood Music: we interrupt regular broadcasting for my mid-life crisis
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