When your DVR fails you

hand holding a remote control with a tv blurred in the backgroundSometimes a person sets up her DVR to record her favorite fashion reality show season finale. She’s super excited because she’s waited months to find out who won. Her husband says, “Well, hon, I’m going to take an afternoon nap. Here’s the remote.”

Finally, it’s time.

In eager anticipation, she navigates to the recorded listings, ready to spend the next hour and a half in pure reality competition bliss when it dawns on her that the program she’s longing to watch isn’t there.

That girl is me and that DVR is mine.

DVR...how could you?

And for the second year in a row. Yup, I missed last season’s Project Runway finale, too. What kind of prior fashion trauma  did you experience that you so callously refused to record my program?

Was it because I’ve downloaded too many TLC episodes from On-Demand? It’s not my fault that my brain break is the likes of Dance Mom and The Littlest Couple. That’s just how God made me. I can’t help that I’m fascinated with Cody Brown, his four wives and 250 children and watch four straight hours. What’s not to be fascinated by? Reality TV love should be multiplied, not divided.

You’re such a tv-ish, DVR.

You think it was human error? Human error? Human error my ass. There is no human error involved in this little fiasco, DVR. I set my phone alarm for 7 pm Wednesday and 7 pm on Thursday to make sure I set up Project Runway, and by God, I did this week, too. So why you no record, DVR? I could kick you in the blue light, I’m so mad.

While there’s no Project Runway on my list, you sure didn’t waste any time recording 10 hours of ghost shows, 5 hours of  History Channel show and a Wizards of Wavery Place. You know, stuff that clearly we’re watching.


I hate you more right now than I ever thought I could hate an inanimate hunk of metal, plastic and cords; a white-hot hatred that burns brighter and more intensely than your circular, blue on-indicator. Luckily, the Project Runway finale plays again next Thursday, and you bet your sharp corners it’s already set to record.

Don’t let down. You’re replaceable.

Put a little lovelinks in your day.

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