Oh my stars, people, this has been a long week. I had to work five straight days. FIVE DAYS. This has only happened once in six weeks for me.
But we made it. Almost. Let’s see if we can get through Friday.
Here in Florida, we’re bracing for Tropical Storm Emily this weekend. All the weather forecasters are opening their traps and hyping this storm like it’s the second coming. I’m sure Walmart is out of flashlights and batteries. We’ll probably get a refreshing shower and light breeze because we’re all prepared for worse. Those darn weather people need to learn that if they dont’ have something nice to say about the weather, don’t say anything.
Wait. Maybe this doesn’t apply to weather people; but it should for celebrities, right?
I’m gonna start out with mean girl wannabe Kelly Osbourne, who has been running her mouth all over Hollywood this week.
First, she proved that she is rubber and Christina Aguliera is glue when she called her a “fat bitch” on E! Fashion Police. Her rationale for the statement was that Christina called her fat, first.
Sure, that’s a great excuse…FOR A KINDERGARTNER.
“In England they’re like, ‘Look how thrifty she’s being, showing the British public that the Royals are in a recession as well,’” Osbourne said. “Only in this country they call it a faux pas.”
Well. Maybe that’s the problem with America? That we laugh and criticize people who wear the same clothes over and over again? And also, I really, really doubt that she cares about being thrifty. Kelly — she’s a princess. She can do what she wants. If that’s wearing her favorite pair of skinny jeans a couple times per week, more power to her.
Kelly, You’re the princess of what, exactly? The empire of America’s Got Talent?
In other “WHY DID YOU SAY THAT?” news, Latin bombshell and star of Modern Family Sofia Vergara said in an interview that she just loved being a teen mom because she had more energy and because her body was “hideous” before and now is rocking.
Great. We needed more encouragement for young girls to become Teen Moms. Now they not only have the promise of MTV stardom, but also of body that could give any young co-ed a run for their money in a wet t-shirt contest. Thanks, Sofia Vergara, for planting that little seed in the minds of teen girls everywhere, so they can get a little seed planted…
Moving on to more seed planting news, Nick Lachey recently told E! News he was trying everything he could to get Vanessa Minnillo pregnant.
At first I thought this was a super tacky thing to say as I cringe almost every time a man says “I’m gonna knock up my lady!” or anything similar with more or less words. In fact, I said so on Twitter.
It was only then that the gravity of my statement truly sunk in. Yes, Nick Lachey was tacky before he talked about knocking boots with his wife. He was even tacky before he talked about knocking boots with his first wife, which I’m going to just go ahead and presume that happened, too.
It’s a good thing I like tacky.
Have a super tacky weekend, people! And remember, be better than celebrities: if you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.