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The following conversation occurred Thursday afternoon with my friend, coworker, fellow celebrity smut lover and cubicle neighbor.
Me: Is it bad that I get all my news from US Weekly?
L: Where else would you get your news?
Me: I need to write my Celebrity re-crap. I mean re-cap. Actually, re-crap is probably more accurate.
So is it any wonder that we’re pretty stoked it’s Friday?
In honor of Friday, and the cancellation of my web policy meeting this morning, we’re going to celebrate, both here and in my office (the latter including some idle chit-chat, YouTube videos and maybe if we get really crazy, I’ll get something out of the vending machine. Woot.)
Also ready to celebrate? The Kardashian Klan, who will be collectively marrying Kris Humphries this weekend. That’s how it works, right? If one Kardashian sister marries someone, he belongs to the whole group? Kim Kardashian will wed the athlete Saturday, and the (presumably) lavish black tie fete is being held in Montecito, Calif.
Do you think a Kardashian would keep her wedding to one day? Oh hale no! Niche Media founder Jason Binn and celebrity wedding planner Colin Cowie will be throwing Kim and Kris a second celebration August 31st. So that’s two wedding celebrations you weren’t invited to.
Kevin Federline celebrated with sugar, spice and everything nice as he welcomed his fifth child (and first with former volleyball player Victoria Prince) into the world. Daughter Jordan joins the rest of his brood: Jayden, Preston (with ex-wife Britney Spears), Kaleb and Kori (with ex Shar Jackson). Congrats, Kevin, you’re only one baby away from a six pack! Once you make another baby, you can complete that set of six “World’s Best Dad” mugs you’ve always wanted!
Somebody neuter him.
Who else is celebrating? Us. collectively. As a society. As we learn Kate Plus Eight, the TLC show chronicling the lives of Kate Gosslin and her metric ton of children after her divorce from chronic douche Jon Gosslin, has been canceled after 150 episodes. Although this show ran 150 episodes too long, we can all sigh in relief as the years of them holding TLC hostage have finally ended. I hope TLC and other networks have learned their lesson, although as long as there are people in this world (like me) who spent their Saturdays watching Dance Moms, they probably won’t.
Oh, guess who else is celebrating some baby news? Hilary Duff recently announced her pregnancy, and is indulging in some sweet treats of the Rice Krispy variety. Oh, how I’d love to celebrate this Friday with a whole mess of Rice Krispy treats. My favorite part about Hilary Duff is her precious idea that what she has is a bump.
That? Is not a baby bump. True story: Yesterday I wore a maternity dress that I happen to just love and doesn’t really look like a maternity dress unless you have a bump. Well, after a hearty lunch of a Monte Cristo sandwich and loaded baked potato salad and potato chips, I took a look at myself in the mirror and it truly looked like I was about 12 weeks pregnant. I certainly looked more pregnant than Hilary Duff does in the above picture AND I’M NOT PREGNANT.
I still want a mess of Rice Krispy treats, though.
Hope you find something to celebrate this weekend!
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Twitter: thebestdays
I was glad to hear about the end of Kate Plus 8. Her nastiness was only entertaining for so long.
Venassa recently posted..My Maternity Photos
Right? Totally worth celebrating. The fact that she considered herself a “star” enought to be on dwts (which has questionable stars anyway) is enough to be glad its over!
Twitter: SaidKristin
I hope Kim Kardashian and her boy toy take their marriage as seriously as they are taking this wedding. I actively go out of my way to avoid any news whatsoever about the Kardashians, and even I know about this… event.
Kevin Federline has amazingly industrious sperm considering he himself is such a slacker.
Re: The Gosslins and their 150-episode run on TLC… I hope the broken marriage and a lifetime of therapy for those poor kids was worth it in the end.
And in sweet Hilary’s defense, I also thought I had a bump at 12 weeks. I even took a picture of it. Which I now look back on and wonder if my stomach will ever be that toned again.
Love your celebrity recaps!
Kristin @ What She Said recently posted..Snapshot of a Marriage
I just hope the marriage last at least as long as the engagement.
Its really sad what the gosslins put their children through just so they could be on tv. And hope they put back some of that tlc money to pay for therapy.
I read the news so you don’t have to!
Twitter: corp2domestic
Ugh so glad that the Gosselin clan is of TV. I feel really bad for those kids with those crazy parents. And I cannot believe Kevin is having another baby…seriously why are women still procreating with him?!
Natalie recently posted..Life’s Lessons: Where Did This Year Go Edition
I know..that’s so true!! And multiple children, too. What is he bringing to the childrearing table??
Gad – I can’t believe noone has taken it upon themselves to neuter Federline yet!
That’s just what we need.
jessica@domesticated-bliss recently posted..Book Review: Emma by Jane Austen
There are 6 too many federlines in the world (I’m including him in this
)
Twitter: kristinzas
That is indeed not a bump. That is a BELT.
But both start with b so I can see how she got confused.
KLZ recently posted..Guest Post of Insanity
Thanks goodness Kate plus 8 is off the air. Those poor kids. It was cute at first, then turned into a major train wreck.
Why are the Kardashians always in the news? Why? Does anybody care?
Rach (DonutsMama) recently posted..Life’s Lessons: The What’s For Dinner Edition. (Seriously, What’s For Dinner?)
Its about Damn time that the Gosslin crew is finally off the air. Hopefully Kate put enough of the money they made from the show away cause those kids are going to need intensive therapy.
Now if only KUWTK’s would follow suit…
Angie@MamaInsomnia recently posted..Are you ready to FALL?
WTF is the attraction for Kevin Federline? Ick.
I love the Kardashians, hate Kris Jenner. She is a Momster!
Yay for no more Kate plus 8, but you know she will fame whore herself and her kids out for something else. Double Ick.
And am I the only one that secretly hopes that Hillary Duff gains like a hundo? I mean I can’t be the only one right? There is something about adorable tiny actresses that gain like a shload of weight when they get pregnant. Although I am sure she has a fab personal trainer who can get her back to a size 00 in no time. Mmmm….donuts…
Jayme (RandomBlogette) recently posted..The Beauty of a Detour
LOVE your recap.
LOVE KLZ’s comment about that being a belt not a bump.
LOVE that Kate + 8 had finally been canceled. Ugh.
But really. The Kardashians? And Kevin Federline?
Enough already with the pseudo celebrities…
Can’t take it. Don’t care. Go away.
(for reals.)
Keep up with the news, Amanda. It’s a sticky job, but somebody’s gotta keep track of the Rice Krispy Treats.
XO
julie gardner recently posted..Today call me wedded.
Seriously. People were still watching Kate – Jon + 8?
Tara recently posted..True Life: I’m a _________ {Mommy Blogger Edition}
Twitter: CathyLynn_
Uh oh. I have a bigger bump than that and I’m not pregnant. In fact, I’ve never been pregnant. Unless you count food babies. I’ve had many of those.
Cathy recently posted..Book Review – One Day
Thanks for the round-up! Still can’t believe Kim is actually marrying Kris…I didn’t really think she liked him that much, but I’ve been wrong before. As for Kevin, if it were a woman that had 5 children with 3 different me, she would be labeled a….you get my point. But, congrats Kevin! And Hillary!
TheProDiva recently posted..Martini Break!!!
Twitter: MamaWantsThis
Noticed all the despicable slime balls’ names all start with K? Cretins. I mean Kretins (hehe).
Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..Birthday Guest: Baby, I’m Not Ready
Twitter: HStayingAfloat!
I’m anxious for Kim to get married so I can stop hearing about her getting married. I don’t like her, and I’m over it already! Kevin is just gross and can’t seem to keep anything in his pants for too long. Kate needs to just go away! She’s been on the TV WAY too long! Hopefully TLC will put something worth watching on their network now!
Hopes@Staying Afloat! recently posted..It’s Starting
Twitter: jmomiller
Did Kate’s other show already get cancelled too? I will be SO happy if she and her clan disappear into oblivion when it comes to being in front of the tv camera.
Twitter: mytimeasmom
I think K Fed needs to be snipped. 5 kids? That’s crazy.
Jessica recently posted..Reno Summer Smashed Adventure
Twitter: decoybetty
My jaw dropped a little reading about Kevin Federline…he’s still alive/around? WHO KNEW?
Also, Hilary Duff pregnant? This was a very educational read for me!
I want to know what people say at a celebrity wedding like that. Cuz no one there thinks it’s going to last. What do you write in the card?
liz recently posted..Introducing: iPhone Photo Phun
WHO KNEW? I have a bigger bump than that and I’m not pregnant. I actively go out of my way to avoid any news whatsoever about the Kardashians, and even I know about this… event. Yay for no more Kate plus 8, but you know she will fame whore herself and her kids out for something else.