The following conversation occurred Thursday afternoon with my friend, coworker, fellow celebrity smut lover and cubicle neighbor.
Me: Is it bad that I get all my news from US Weekly?
L: Where else would you get your news?
Me: I need to write my Celebrity re-crap. I mean re-cap. Actually, re-crap is probably more accurate.
So is it any wonder that we’re pretty stoked it’s Friday?
In honor of Friday, and the cancellation of my web policy meeting this morning, we’re going to celebrate, both here and in my office (the latter including some idle chit-chat, YouTube videos and maybe if we get really crazy, I’ll get something out of the vending machine. Woot.)
Also ready to celebrate? The Kardashian Klan, who will be collectively marrying Kris Humphries this weekend. That’s how it works, right? If one Kardashian sister marries someone, he belongs to the whole group? Kim Kardashian will wed the athlete Saturday, and the (presumably) lavish black tie fete is being held in Montecito, Calif.
Do you think a Kardashian would keep her wedding to one day? Oh hale no! Niche Media founder Jason Binn and celebrity wedding planner Colin Cowie will be throwing Kim and Kris a second celebration August 31st. So that’s two wedding celebrations you weren’t invited to.
Kevin Federline celebrated with sugar, spice and everything nice as he welcomed his fifth child (and first with former volleyball player Victoria Prince) into the world. Daughter Jordan joins the rest of his brood: Jayden, Preston (with ex-wife Britney Spears), Kaleb and Kori (with ex Shar Jackson). Congrats, Kevin, you’re only one baby away from a six pack! Once you make another baby, you can complete that set of six “World’s Best Dad” mugs you’ve always wanted!
Somebody neuter him.
Who else is celebrating? Us. collectively. As a society. As we learn Kate Plus Eight, the TLC show chronicling the lives of Kate Gosslin and her metric ton of children after her divorce from chronic douche Jon Gosslin, has been canceled after 150 episodes. Although this show ran 150 episodes too long, we can all sigh in relief as the years of them holding TLC hostage have finally ended. I hope TLC and other networks have learned their lesson, although as long as there are people in this world (like me) who spent their Saturdays watching Dance Moms, they probably won’t.
Oh, guess who else is celebrating some baby news? Hilary Duff recently announced her pregnancy, and is indulging in some sweet treats of the Rice Krispy variety. Oh, how I’d love to celebrate this Friday with a whole mess of Rice Krispy treats. My favorite part about Hilary Duff is her precious idea that what she has is a bump.
That? Is not a baby bump. True story: Yesterday I wore a maternity dress that I happen to just love and doesn’t really look like a maternity dress unless you have a bump. Well, after a hearty lunch of a Monte Cristo sandwich and loaded baked potato salad and potato chips, I took a look at myself in the mirror and it truly looked like I was about 12 weeks pregnant. I certainly looked more pregnant than Hilary Duff does in the above picture AND I’M NOT PREGNANT.
I still want a mess of Rice Krispy treats, though.
Hope you find something to celebrate this weekend!