Funnies from Hubby: Part 2

On our anniversary, I wrote a post about how funny my hubby is. Since then, I’ve been keeping a list on my awesome Droid app called Evernote of all the funny, unexpected things he says that makes me giggle.

Hubby: What’s that on the baby monitor? What a strange sound. Maybe there’s a friendly ghost in his
Me: Its not a ghost its an angel.
Hubby: I said friendly…That applies to angels too
___
Hubby is popping some popcorn.
Hubby: Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Me: What? Why are you shhing me?
Hubby: It’s a Pop Secret.

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ESPN Tweeted during the Stanley Cup finals and asked followers to tweet back what they’d say to the players if they were the coach:
Hubby: @espn Guys get your heads up. Its no big deal…hockey sucks and no one is watching anyway

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Some dude took up the toilet in the men’s bathroom for 10 minutes, grunting and straining while Hubby waited.
Kelsey: Doesn’t take 10 mins to poop and if it does get some stool softener and start taking it.

_____

Me [about the song, Country Girl by Luke Bryan]: Why is she shaking it for a squirel?
Hubby: Because squirrels  have nuts.

_____

Hubby: would u get mad if I got a tattoo?
Me: Yes
Hubby: what if it was in a really nice place?
Me: like where?
Hubby: my biceps. I could get barbed wire and a logo. And every time I show you I could go “caching!”
Me: what kind of logo?
Hubby: a reflective logo..so then it can shine when I go “caching!”

______

Hubby: I’m gonna buy that piece of property and build a putt putt course. I’m going to make it real nice and put windmills and clown faces with their tongue sticking out and you have to get the ball in their mouth. And then also I’ll put mini double wides over there too and you have to get the ball through the front door but if you miss it gets a dent in it. And the ball goes through and you have to avoid the 6 crying babies crawling around in the double wide.

_____

As he finishes the last bite of my ice cream…
Hubby: Oh, I ate the rest of this. Is that a problem?
_____

We’re driving back from the beach. There are some turkey buzzards eating a deer.

Hubby: No Baby Blogworthy, the deer is just sleeping and the buzzards are giving him a massage. A deep tissue massage. For free.

_____

Discussing various types of  dips after noticing a sign for Skoal on sale.
Hubby: Crab dip is the best…it doesn’t give you cancer.

_____

Hubby: That uhaul has a zebra on it! I’m gonna rent it for the day…its only like 19.99 …and just drive it around.

Leave him some love!

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