Loaner Phone Part 1: Contact list

Last June I jumped feet first into the world of smart phones with my Samsung Moment. It was love at first touch. Over the next few months, my Samsung Moment failed me again and again while I became increasingly dependent on it. I feel like my Samsung Moment and I need to go to couples therapy.

The first problem was last summer when the plug port became bent because I dropped it too many times when it was plugged in for no obvious reason. Sprint replaced it with a refurbished phone.

The second time was a right after I got back from maternity leave. The phone was often unresponsive and wouldn’t hold a charge for more than an hour. I took it in and Sprint replaced it with a refurbished phone.

Three or so weeks ago, my Samsung Moment was unresponsive again and would power down for no reason and then take hours to restart (even plugged in). Once at work I waited two hours for it to restart. A few nights later I plugged it in while it was restarting, woke up with Baby Blogworthy at 3 am and it still wasn’t charged after four hours and had pretty much set my pillow on fire with the overheated battery. I pulled out the battery and it finally started.

The next night it crashed for real. After my phone tried to load for almost 12 straight hours, the battery died and it sort of gave up on life.

Although I’m only 18 days from an upgrade, Sprint wouldn’t let me go ahead and give them my cash monies for a new phone. Instead, they sent my Samsung Moment away YET AGAIN. I get it back today, but for the weekend I was stuck with a loaner phone.

Oh, people, this loaner phone. It wasn’t so much the phone as the condition of the phone. It’s as if the Sprint people were like, “crap, this woman’s phone is DONE and we need to get her something fast. Quick, check the back. Nothing? Seriously? Ok, think. Think. Wait, didn’t someone just turn in a phone? Yeah, yeah, yeah, get that one! where is it? Oh here it is, in the trash, right under this banana peel. Brush the coffee grinds off it and I’ll get it set up for her.”

My sister has this phone because she has an iPad for awesomeness and doesn’t need a smart phone.

However, I’m sure her’s doesn’t include the following:

- A hole in the casing
- A crack in the camera lens
- Half the keypad missing
- A contact list that contains the following names: Jit;  Kevin White Boy; Mikey Crip Walk; Moneek; No Hands; Nu Nu Nu; Toy Shipmate Sis and; Unc Bucket; B Smooth; Back Door; Cuz Boo; Black Ass; Fatboy; Rolemodel Lil Chris; Roo Block; and Spank. (All typed directly from the contact list on my Loaner Phone)

By the way, I guess I didn’t mention they had forgotten to erase all the other person’s information from the phone? Yeah. That happened. Creepy, huh? 

There was a work number in it and I called it. It was a KFC. Take from that what you will.

The Loaner Phone took on a new life at work Friday. My work friend, who was one work day away from a vacation and was stressed became instantly obsessed with Loaner Phone and we collectively spent the rest of the day inputting the contacts them into the Royal Name Generator. 

Marchioness White Girl Lulu Tcott of Alachuashire.
Marchioness Toy Shipmate Ticky Sis Andberton of Gainesvilleshire.
Prince Back Fearnsley Doorskitt of Gainesvilleford.

Now, tell me, how can a person be sad about their non-smart Loaner Phone when it provides that kind of entertainment? But I didn’t know exactly how entertaining that phone was until I discovered the text messages….

Dun, dun DUUNNNN!! Come back tomorrow for the conclusion to my Loaner Phone saga.

Meanwhile, what do you think the text messages said, based on the contacts list?

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21 comments to Loaner Phone Part 1: Contact list

  • singedwingangel

    Seriously?? that is what they gave you as a loaner?? AND they left the contacts in it, which can be a serious offense because of the information one can gain from what little bit is left. I would contact Sprints home office and let them know exactly what was done…I am fairly sure they won't be pleased

  • Saucy B

    oh jesus that phone is a hot mess. Glad it's at least providing some entertainment. As for the text messages, I'm going to with drug related activity and/or something pimptastic.

  • Ms.Wasteland

    I can't think of anything funny this am. Also, I'm afraid of sounding racist.

  • JMJE

    That is crazy. I also have a friends named Kevin White Boy and B Smooth. False, I do not. That is really funny though. Can't wait for the texts.

  • Sarah Mac

    Well my phone is also PURPLE and has 1,000 pictures of my cats (past and present) and nephew, which makes it 1 million times better to begin with.

  • MrsJenB

    Wooooooow. I'm sure the texts are so full of text-speak they're practically unintelligible.

  • Domesticated-Bliss

    Oh Sprint. How I loathe and love you. Sounds exactly like something they would do! We only keep Sprint because all of our backwoods relatives (believe me it's an endearing term lol) can only get reception with Sprint phones!

    Love this post, I'm dying over here!

  • The Random Blogette

    Oh snap gurl! Imaboudda gid up in all dis bidness. (You're welcome.) Please tell me that some of the text messages were left as well. That would have been tons of entertainment. I am just amazed at what cell phone companies can get away with. We have Verizon and they suck ballz just as bad. I wanted to beat the Verizon manager with my phone the other day. Lucky for me a co-worker of mine gave me his old blackberry storm so I have a functioning phone until my freaking September! And another reason to hate Sprint, I switched to Verizon after Dave and I got married almost 7 years ago and paid everything off. My PARENTS just got a $500 bill from Sprint in my name saying I never paid anything off. Grrr!

  • Liz

    I cannot believe that they won't give you a new one with such little time to go. I think if you text any of those people, you may need to fear for your life.

    Also? How is that thing even a phone? It looks like a pager!

  • tara

    Um. PLEASE give me Nu Nu Nu's number! Holla!

  • Lindsey

    This was SO epic I don't even know what to say other than I am so glad I got to be a part of this saga! Well, the fun part anyway. This was so darn entertaining Friday and put me in the best mood! As you know, my favorite is Mikey Crip Walk, and when I saw someone walking funny over the weekend, I was convinced I had found him in person.

    With all of that being said, I hope you get a real phone back soon!

  • Elena

    Can we do a 3-way call with Shipmate Sis? ;) I will definitely have to read part 2 of this…

  • Tarja

    Hold up, I know Mikey Crip too! Dude, you disinfected it, right? Cause I'm all disgusted over here. Although the hilarity of the situation is pretty awesome.

  • Jessica

    How could they give you a loaner phone without erasing all the numbers first? That is crazy talk.

  • Stephanie in Suburbia

    Ok, I'm not going to lie, this is AWESOME!! Like totally makes up for the problems just for this blog post, much less the 2nd one.

    I loathe phones, they make me so anxious and I get so upset b/c mine are sooo expensive and something always goes wrong. ALWAYS!


    Well, hey – it least it's pretty in pink! Can't wait to hear the texts…$100 says they're chicken fried and dirtttty.

  • The Nanny Family

    Ha! I'm waiting in suspense! I bought a phone off ebay, added my SIM card, and then found their pics that were left on whatever the hard drive is called on a cell… There was a sad looking house… and… something like 14 pictures of different male genitalia (at least that's my assumption as after 4 I figured out how to delete them without opening each one). P.S. phone owner denied it… right, like it was me.

  • Jackie

    OMGosh…….thank you so much for part 1 and 2 of this story! It made me laugh and appreciate my own boring little life with text messages like "What do you want for dinner?" and "Espresso just had a HUGE hairball!". Seriously, that's a major breach of information, such as it is. If I didn't know better, based on experience with my cell company, I'd swear it was AT&T that did that. The touch screen on my phone just died (after only a year) and hubby's died about 2 months ago (again, after only 10 months). That is another story though, maybe I will have to blog about that! I had some serious issues with AT&T after his phone died, and involved many 4-letter words and variations on 4-letter words said loudly to hubby and even louder to the so-called "customer service" people on the phone. ;) Hope you get a good new non-crappy phone soon!

  • Lady Old Soul

    Holy moly, I just woke up all the sleepy people in my house laughing my FRIGGIN' ARSE OFF at the contact list!!!! Methinks it be time to go in and do a little creative renaming on my own contact list….Har har!! Seriously, thank you VERY VERY MUCH for the best laugh I've had all week! x'D

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