Just when you thought it was OK to put the Nyquil back in the medicine cabinet, it strikes. Like a thief in the night, it creeps in, leaving no human untouched.
I had two men in my house. Well, one man and one mini-man.
THE MAN COLD TIMES TWO.
And I also got it.
Welcome to my nightmare…FAMILY COLD.
It was a game of “who is sicker”. It’s a super fun game to play. Also in the same category of fun? “Who got less sleep?” (which I always win because guess who has two thumbs gets up to nurse the mini-man in the middle of the night: *this girl*)
So there were two of us, hacking and sneezing with a box of tissues tucked tightly between our pillows. Next to me was the bassinet holding our son who is also snotting and coughing. We’re just one big snot factory. We’re also a used tissue factory, or that’s what it looks like on my husband’s side of the bed. He used an entire box of tissues in one day. I’m not even mad. That’s impressive.
We caught FAMILY COLD at the same time. By Friday I was feeling better. By Friday Hub was on his deathbed.
“You just don’t understand. I am………….REALLY SICK.”
Really sick? Like sort of how I had a cold while I was pregnant and could take approximately nothing other than vitamins and a hot bath?
“I need my rest. I mean, I’m wiped out, just exhausted.”
Exhausted, yeah I can relate. Like when I carried an 8 lb 11 oz baby directly in front of me, then pushed him out, then stayed up for 48 hours with only an hour nap, then slept a few hours, then was up at 3 AM again every night for 4 weeks? That kind of exhausted?
“Baby, could you go get me [insert beverage, food or medicine here]? I just feel so lousy.”
Sure, right after I feed the baby, change a blowout diaper, rock him until he stops fussing, then go to the bathroom because I’ve been holding it for hours, then get the dog some food because she’s been tapping my arm for 20 minutes, then stick the paci back in 30 times. Right after all that.
“Sweetie, can you give me some more sympathy? Maybe rub my back?”
I….I have nothing.
I can’t wait until I have two men in the house to experience MAN COLD!
*edited to add: Hub ended up going to the doctor and was, in fact, very sick. He received a steroid shot and two types of antibiotics. Well played, Man Cold….well played.*
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