How was your day?
No, I want to know. Tell me. I’m all ears. *props head on hands, blinks lovingly*
I’m just asking because mine sucked.
Let me weave you a tale about how your bodily functions basically go haywire during pregnancy.
It started off with my regular OB appointment. NBD. Just head on in, pee in a cup, have my stomach measured and then listen to my little guy’s heartbeat. Oh, and get my blood pressure read. Twice. And it was high. Twice.
So then my doctor is all, (in her sweetest southern voice), “Well when it’s that high twice in a row, we need to send you to labor and delivery for monitoring.” *too bad for you shrug* and I’m all, “Say what? Like right now?” and she’s all, “yes, I’ll call them and let them know you’re on the way!” *smiley face*
Well good. Great. I’m so excited for this, because last time you sent me to labor and delivery for “high blood pressure”, it was such a great use of my time. I got to lay in an uncomfortable bed with my work clothes on and drink “free” apple juice, only to be told an hour later that nothing is wrong and I should go home. Really glad I get that experience again.
Then I walk up to the desk and who knows where on God’s green earth they got this woman working the check-out because she was the LEAST appropriate person to be checking out hormonal pregnant women. Our conversation went AS SO:
Dumb lady: Can I help you?
Me: Just checking out. [I hand her my check-out paper.]
Dumb lady: [looks at the paper][looks at me][blinks][looks at paper] Do you owe us any money?
Me: I haven’t owed any the last four weeks, so I’d say I’m paid up from my monthly payments.
Dumb lady: [looks at me][blinks] What kind of insurance do you have?
Me: The insurance that’s listed on my paperwork right in front of you. That I’ve had for 9 months now.
Dumb lady: [sighs][types][looks at paper] Oh…..you have BASIC insurance? Not preferred?
Me: Yes, we’ve had this conversation before.
Dumb lady: But you switched over to preferred for January, right?
Me: No, and why would that matter? I’m not going to be pregnant in January.
Dumb lady: [stares at me]
Me: Listen, can you just tell me if I owe any money so I can get out of here?
Dumb lady: [looks at computer][looks at me] I’m not sure if you owe any money or not.
Me: Can you check, please.
Dumb lady: Well you might owe money, but my record here says you have a credit of $20 and a balance of 55 cents.
Me: That’s not helpful.
Hubby: Please sit down and let me take over.
And by this time my high blood pressure is even higher because somebody forgot her
Starbucks McDonalds Kangaroo coffee this morning as well as her brain and can’t figure out her own system.
Oh and then? She had forgotten to schedule my very last appointment and now my doctor doesn’t have any slots open. ISN’T THAT THE BEE’S KNEES?
Then in L&D I get another “nap” in the triage room, some more apple juice and 2 hours with a contraction monitor and blood pressure cuff strapped by my body. GOOD! And then the nurse says, “Well your blood pressure wasn’t that high. I’m not sure why they sent you over here.” So that somebody, probably the dumb front desk lady, could bill my insurance and then somebody else can count all that beautiful green money coming in. GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111
And after all that, I wasn’t even able to take the rest of the day off because it’s only 10:30 am.
But then I got some free sandwiches and pasta salad, and later tonight we’re getting free ice cream.
So all in all, today is a draw.
Do free things really taste better? Do doctors offices make you feel like a crazy person? Are you tired of all these pregnancy blogs (I promise I wont’ turn into a Mommy Blogger.)
BONUS QUESTION: When do you think Baby Blogworthy will be born?