Baby Blogworthy must not know about "turkey" yet

NOM.

Dearest Ravenous Monster Baby,

You know what tastes really good? Turkey.

 Yes sir, it’s one of life’s greatest pleasures. Well, not just turkey *per-say*. We’ve been eating a lot of turkey, me and you, on sandwiches and salads and whatnot since you made eating ham a thing of the past back in April. Since canned tuna is out (which in salad form is Mommy’s favorite sandwich toppings and I WILL eat one as soon as you make your grand appearance), my options are ham (puke), turkey and roast beef.

So turkey sandwiches on the regular around these parts, but what I’m talking about is a nice, fat, salty, buttery, cooked-to-perfection hunk of meat that is only found around our house during holidays and the occasional dinner out to Bob Evans. You’ll learn someday that Thanksgiving dinner is pretty much the epitome of meals.

Ok, let me put it this way. You know how sometimes Mommy doesn’t eat and you get so pissed off and start just kicking the crap out of my insides, but then after you get some nourishment you calm down and fall asleep? Well I hate to break it to you, but guess what? That’s pretty unacceptable behavior out here in the real world, especially for grown-people. Except on Thanksgiving.

See, this magical day isn’t just about the turkey. It’s about stuffing and cranberries and green-bean casserole (the only time green beans are edible in my book) and rolls and mashed potatoes and corn. AND GRAVY. Mercy, the gravy. Between Thanksgiving and Christmas, I often have an uncontrollable urge to put gravy on everything. It makes all that food I mentioned above taste even better, if that’s possible.

So here’s how it works: People we love sit down at a table. We are all wearing clothes, so no more nakedness for you (I’m sorry to break that cold, hard fact to you, but I promise it’s worth it). We put all this yummy on our plates and then DRENCH it with gravy. Then we eat that and get another plate. Then we dig into desserts — how could I forget desserts? — and then the men folk (that’s you and Dad) sit in front of the TV and watch a football game, but make it through one possession before falling into what we call a *turkey coma*.

The women-folk don’t bother with all that extra stuff — we just find a couch or bed and go right into our turkey coma nap. This is the best nap of the year, what with the drool and how usually it’s a little cool out so it’s super comfy and how the belly is super full, so much so that laying down is the only comfortable position. Oh, and how it’s a legitimate reason to put on your “comfy pants” instead of pants with buttons, snaps and zippers.

Then after a couple hours in the turkey coma, you wake up and watch more football or a movie, and then raid the fridge. This is usually when Mommy makes a sandwich out of a roll, turkey scraps and stuffing and then dips it in gravy.

And because Thanksgiving is a holiday, us grown-people don’t have to go to work. Last year, Mommy and Daddy were both off for a lot of days and stayed up until 3 AM every morning playing video games. We’ll probably be up the same kind of hours this year if you are here with us, but for other reasons.

But see, kid, this is where your cooperation comes in to play. You are due on this magical day. However, if you are actually *born* on Thanksgiving day, Mommy and Daddy and Aunt Sis and your grandparents won’t get to have this yummy meal. No Turkey. No gravy. No sandwiches dipped in gravy. No nap. Just birthin’ you.

Say, you know what would be helpful? You getting here this week! What do you say, bud? Hows about, like, this weekend maybe!? And while you won’t be able to actually EAT the turkey, you can definitely smell it and that’s one step closer than you would be if you were still in my belly.

But you’ll probably be like your Dad and be a pedantic rule follower and say, “oh, no, Mommy, the doctor said November 25, so November 25 it is! Let me just get comfy here and we can wait it out!”

And if that’s the case? Fine. Be that way. But just remember that if you miss this Thanksgiving, you’ll miss ‘ wearing a wear a newborn sized pilgrim hat or turkey costume. That’ll be your cross to bear.

I love you,
Momma

Wordy & Nerdy
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25 comments to Baby Blogworthy must not know about "turkey" yet

  • JMJE

    If your Baby comes on Thanksgiving, don't worry. You can have Fakesgiving. It's a made up holiday that I started having a few years back with the people that I would not actually see on real Thanksgiving. It's pretty much the same food as Thanksgiving but on any day within a week of Thanksgiving. And there may or may not be football on that day. Either way good luck and I hope your baby comes soon!

  • JessMel

    Now I want turkey!!

    I hope the little guy comes a little early for you, so you can be home to eat turkey dinner!

  • Sarah Mac

    I'm so torn as to when I want Nephew Blogworthy to come:

    -I hope he comes by Wednesday of this week so I can miss a lame-o meeting I'm supposed to have here at work.

    -I also want him to come this week so that I'm for sure the very first family member that is not his parents can see him

    -I hope he comes on his due date, or a day or two after so that Uncle Ducky and I can drive down together

    -Also, him coming on his due date means I can stay with him through the first week of December.

    Hurry up, little Blogworthy! Or wait a little while longer! I'm so undecided!

  • poet

    ah the turkey coma. i hope you will be able to indulge….well of course you will, it just might be later than the proper day. love this post. take care, and hope that you are feeling ok.

  • Brooke

    Dear Baby Blogworthy, as I told your mommy via the Twitter, you've already just about tarnished my perfect due date and/or birth weight prediction record. You've done enough. Please come this week so your mommy and family can enjoy Thanksgiving. I promise you it'll be a fun holiday.

  • mariahsmile

    hahaha I love this post! I hope baby Luke comes early for you so he can enjoy the smells of his first Thanksgiving with you! …and so I can see a picture of his cute little face in a pilgrim hat!

  • Liz

    I think I like your little tagline, "Wordy & Nerdy!"

    You saying how you'll be busy birthin' him made you sound so Gone With The Wind-ish.

    Little Luke really would be starting life off on the wrong foot if he missed his chance at a Turkey shirt.

  • foxy

    Oh my gosh, the description of all that food made my mouth water. I can't WAIT until turkey day. And I second your friend's suggestion of the Fakesgiving. Just schedule it around little Luke's arrival.

  • Hutch

    Ham also makes me want to vomit, but I am not a gravy person! I'm all in on just about everything else for the Turkey Day meal! Hope the little one comes this weekend for ya

  • KLZ

    If that baby is born on December 2nd, I'm still going to want to see it in a turkey costume.

    You hear that Luke?

  • SurferWife

    Please tell me he has a little pilgrim hat to wear?

    Please.

    Little Monique Blogworthy will be so freaking cute.

  • Crazy Shenanigans-JMO

    Aw, I hope he gets here this weekend!!!!

  • Sarah P

    WTF do you have against chicken?

  • Snuggle Wasteland

    What's the over-under on a pre-Thanksgiving delivery?

    PS Now I'm hungry and I can't blame it on a being pregnant.

  • Sarah With Scissors

    Us Canadians already celebrated Thanksgiving… but perhaps i will celebrate again… because consuming left over turkey for the entire month of October was not enough… I WANT TO DO IT AGAIN!

    Sorry I've been away for so long. I've missed my bloggy peeps, but I's is baaaacks.

  • Lisa

    This is the most fantastic post ever! I'm super jealous of the staying up till 3 am playing video games thing-we never get to do that because 1) I'm always at work and 2) husband is always at work. Boo, work!

    Anyways, here's hoping your little bundle of happiness pops on out this week and you get to enjoy your nom-fest!

  • The Random Blogette

    OMG! This was about the greatest thing that I have ever read! I really hope that your Ravenous Monster Baby aka Luke at least waits until the day after Thanksgiving if he is going to wait to make his appearance. Hopefully he will come this weekend so I can spend next week looking at beautiful baby pics on facebook, because you know that is the rule. One hour (or sooner) after new baby is born pictures must be uploaded…somehow onto facebook.

  • NicoleP

    Were I the baby in question, T-day would seem like an awfully good enticement to hurry out into the world :)

  • mommylebron

    Since you're in Florida, you can appreciate this: If you go to Publix (did we have a conversation about the awesomeness of Publix?) and go to the deli and ask for the new only available for a limited time Holiday Turkey sub with cranberry/orange relish. It is to die for. But don't, proceed with your plans to bring forth additional life!

  • gopopgo

    I call December 1. And don't forget to mention how all the women will sit on the couch clutching pillows so as to let it all hang out.

  • mariahsmile

    I'm still sticking with November 23rd!

  • Natalie

    Oh turkey, how I love thee! And I love that you worked the WOW into this post…and it works!

  • Jersey Diva Mom

    Stay baking baby blogworthy. It's a 4 day weekend, so there's plenty of time for you to arrive then : )

  • Jackie

    well, looks like you got to have the turkey feast! yay for that! Okay, Luke, now it is time to get on outta there! :)

  • [...] That was me almost one year ago to the day, 40 weeks pregnant. Thanksgiving was my due date and I wished for my child to come out before that but looking back on the whole “new mom” thing, I’m sort of glad he [...]

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