Anybody following Project Runway this season?
I really don’t like Gretchen.
Besides the fact that she’s largely untalented and a little bit of a harpie, the following things need to happen with her in my personal and professional opinion and also the opinion of my sister:
- She needs to eat a hamburger (or two)
- She needs a good haircut
- She needs to lay off the meth, there are clinics for that.
- She could make do with some makeup. A spot of rouge, a sweep of mascara, a dab of gloss.
- She needs to buy some clothes at somewhere other than a thrift shop.
Then there is also the show On the Road with Austin and Santino, two contestants from old Project Runways, a show that makes me question my faith in what is real and what is a sketch comedy skit.
|He looks just like a porcelain doll. A FABULOUS porcelain doll.|
This show both fascinates and appalls me. My sister and I watched WAY too many episodes of this and then neither one could erase the imagine of this entirely too beautiful man from our brains. The premise is that these two guys “road trip” to small towns in the Midwest and teach some rubes how to be fabulous by making them ball gowns and cocktail dresses out of found items. Like literally, stuff they find that can be turned into various types of fabric. But I get way too distracted by Austin’s alabaster skin and high, pink cheekbones. I just wish he would take a trip to Gretchen’s hometown and teach her a thing or two about makeup and clothes.
We also watched Toddlers and Tiaras. It’s clear that I have a love/hate relationship with this show, but it inspired me to do a “sassy pout” for my sister’s camera:
|Additionally, look how ginormous my belly looks.|
So there’s that.
What else? Oh, how could I almost forget the breathtaking spoiled-ness of the ladies of Say Yes to the Dress – Atlanta. Oh MERCY, do those women have problems only found in a first world nation. Tell me, how many of you have ever uttered the phrase “I already have two wedding dresses, but I just don’t like them, so I’m here at this upscale boutique where dresses START at $1500 because Daddy wants his little girl to be happy on her special day”? I can imagine almost 100% of you have not, but 80% of the brides on this show have.
An example of “southern charm”:
However, there is one extra bright spot to this show and that is Monte, the fashion director of the company. He is all kinds of awesome. He basically swoops in when a bride isn’t sure that $5000 is worth it, “jacks her up” with a veil and some earrings, and guilts her into buying. It’s phenomanal and I want Monte in my life always as a life coach. I want him to “jack up” my ideas and make everyone agree.
What do all these random shows have in common? They were all on the playlist of my Super Special Sister Saturday. I think Teen Mom was also on there for one hot minute, too. Random entertainment for some random girls.
Do you watch any of these shows? If you’re married, how many wedding dresses did you have? Do you wish Toddlers & Tiaras would go die a fiery death?