HUMMER TIME

Having a baby on the way has apparently awoken a part in Hubby’s brain that has long been dormant, a part that loves Matchbox cars and video games. Maybe it’s the eager anticipation of having a little boy to pal around with, or maybe it’s that having a baby is a BIG FREAKING DEAL and he wants to get all the immature out of his system in the next 4 months, but all I know is that we’ve spent more time in Toys R Us lately than any two so-far childless adults should.

As an aside before I get into this story, I want to buy this for my son when he’s older:

That, my friends, is a mudpie maker. It comes with a real, working sink and mixer. JUST ADD DIRT. I think it’s the most evil genius thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life.  I want him to mix and serve mud pies in a REAL way, and I won’t even mind cleaning him up because it’s just that cute to me.

We were there Saturday to buy a changing table pad and apparently it was also a Christmas in July sale AND we had a 20% off coupon (or two, apparently) and the wait was just too much for him. Hubby needed a radio-controlled car and he needed it in the WORST way. He hadn’t mentioned an RC car at all before, like ever in our 5 years together, but according to him, he had a burning desire to drive a tiny car 2000 ft and back and nothing else would do.

We had a “discussion” at Toys R Us about it. He picked up a “Cars” themed RC car and said, “This would be perfect for our son.” I was all, our son doesn’t even weigh a pound yet. I hardly think this is the appropriate toy for him. He countered by saying that this type of toy would probably last for awhile and that our baby would just LOVE IT! It was $25. I suggested all the things that would be a better use of $25.

He walked to the next aisle and saw an even better RC vehicle that was $30. Hubby thought long and hard about it and then asked what I thought. I told him that if I was mad about a $25 RC car, why would I think a $30 RC car would be better? It was a humongous yellow Hummer, and he said it looked sturdier and would last longer. Although I still had a hard time figuring out why he needed it, I said “WHATEVER”, threw down the changing pad and walked to the bathroom. I was hoping he’d make the “smart decision” to not buy it when I met him at the car, but there it was in all it’s yellow glory, hanging out in the back seat of the car.

A car in the back of a car. Who would have thunk it?

The batteries needed to charge for 8 hours before he could play with it. He took it from the box, left the box in the kitchen for cats to play in, and “parallel parked” it next to the TV. We waited and waited and waited. Around 9 PM he looks at the dog and says, “Truffles….only 2 more hours…get excited!” And I asked why we were supposed to be excited?

He looked at me with a smirk and said, “It’s HUMMER TIME” and then proceeded to hum the tune of Hammer Time and it was probably the best moment of my whole week and totally worth that $30.

So it gets charged up and he has the BEST time driving that son of a beast around the house. Of course the dog hates it with a white, hot passion and will bark incessantly at it and the cats are scared out of their wits. But who cares when there is a tiny vehicle to drive around? He drove it across the living room and into our bedroom and back, did a few donuts, rammed into my shoes and then parallel parked it again for the night.

Sunday he took it out on the open road. Imagine an RC car cruising down the street with a grown-ass man behind the controls and try not to laugh. He brought it back in the house and harassed our animals with it until the battery died. He had to manually parallel park it and I had to resist the urge to make a “Hummer Parking Only” sign.

Monday evening I was getting ready for bed when I heard the telltale buzz of the Hummer coming to greet me. I thought Hubby would be right there in the dining room, wheeling away, but it was just the lone Hummer, staring at me with it’s creepy headlights. I looked into the living room and Hubby was sitting on his lappy pretending like he didn’t drive it.

And I have to say it made me laugh. A lot.

Is this what I have to look forward to when my son is old enough to play with Hubby?

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31 comments to HUMMER TIME

  • Jamie

    This was ADORABLE!!!

  • Jessica

    I love it! My daughter (2 yo) got a RC car for her birthday and my husband and I have way more fun with it than she does. The mad pie maker looks awesome and I think it would be so much fun!

  • Cecelia Winesap

    This is beyond funny! Sounds like something my husband would do for sure.

  • Crazy Shenanigans

    Hahaha, too funny! I love it and I may or may not have "Hammer time" stuck in my head now.

  • SurferWife

    That is so freaking funny. I love that it gets parallel parked.

    You are so doomed. Yeah, i said it. You will be outnumbered and doomed until you get knocked up with a girl.

  • mariahsmile

    Had I missed it? Or did I already comment on it? I knew you were having a baby but I didn't know you were having a boy! Congrats!

  • Brooke

    Oh my gosh – that is too funny! "For your son." Uh huh!

  • Aimee

    Ok this is HILARIOUS!! Men are such kids just in grown up body disguises. I am sure my boyfriend would have been doing the same thing

    I love the "Its Hummer Time". Man sounds like he is a lot of fun and Im sure you will have some fun playing it too… Too bad that it will probably be at least 2 years before your son will want to play with it haha

    That mixer is fantastic though. The toys are soo much cooler nowadays

  • dizzidaisy23

    Too funny! My DH has 3 (I think) gas-powered RC trucks. He likes to do stupid things like attach sparklers to them and drive them up and down the street on the 4th of July. I'm convinced that boys never grow up.

  • The Random Blogette

    That is hilarious! Your hubby is going to have so much fun with a little boy around!

  • Uptown Girl

    Oh how sweet! Your husband sounds like a lot of fun!

  • Maggie

    Jamie was right- you're awesome. I'm sold. :)

    And I may or may not have "Hammer Time" stuck in my head, too. Congratulations on expecting your little boy… my experience with my younger cousins says 'get ready for overloads of RC everything.'

  • The Tucci's!

    YAY for boys ;-)

  • C Cheyne

    You do NOT want to know what I thought this post was going to be about based on the title. Double entendre, anyone?

  • liz

    Unfortunately, I think you're doomed to a like a yellow Hummers and paralleled parking in front of the TV. You Poor Thing!

  • Tracie

    Yep. It's good that you're getting prepared early.

  • bett

    Ohhh I miss the time that my kids were little just because of the fun that you and hubby have shared and this is just the beginning…. Your son is going to be a very lucky kid. I can see this because he has two faboulus parents that will play with him. Daddy and the RC's and Mom and the Mud Pie Maker!
    TTYL

  • Hutch

    Your husband sounds awesome, which I'm assuming played a major part in your deciding to marry the guy. The good thing is that you will have some influence early on with the little man. The not so little man is already pretty molded.

    This makes me want to do a post on my most favorite childhood cooking toy…my snoopie snow cone maker! Best. EVER!

  • The Only Girl

    LOVE the mud pie maker! They must have just come out with those!

    I think you hubby's childish ways will help make him a great & fun Daddy. Consider yourself lucky.

  • Jackie

    ha! I have hammer time in my head now too! :)

    That is just too cute. They are going to have lots of fun together! You may need a girl down the road to help balance out the testosterone in the house though ;) At least Truff and a couple of the cats are girls though. ;)

  • SmartBear

    oh girl…it just gets better. Boys and their little boys. Every day is a load of laughs. My hubby likes to teach tot to say the most ridiculous things. Right now, whenever they get excited you can hear them both YELLING "KKKKK…..YEAHHHHH!" I have no ever lovin idea what the hell it means.
    Best,
    Tina

  • Katie

    The BF has one of those $400 RC cars (like the SERIOUS hobby ones) that he is so dang proud of. It requires a lot of maintenance, as this thing runs on gas, so he's constantly working on it.
    I don't get the appeal of an RC car, personally. The $400 he spend on the thing would have bought me that Kate Spade handbag I've wanted for like 3 years!

  • Sarah P

    Forget it. This is your life henceforth.

    Two children.

    It's super fun. :)

  • mariahsmile

    I knew you were having a boy so strike that last comment! Just had a big brain fart today!

  • KLZ

    Pretty much that is what you have to look forward to.

  • Never Too Busy

    Hahhaha! This post really made my day. I think that inside, most men have the desire to just be kids. I know I do sometimes.

  • Lisa

    Awesome! Just awesome! That sounds like something that could (and just might) happen in my house! :)

  • Stephanie in Suburbia

    All I know is we have about 20 cartoons Tivod and my kid is only 9 months and hasn't QUITE learned how to use the Tivo yet herself, so the immaturity doesn't go away :)

  • LambAround

    As a Hummer-hater, all I can say is a great big OH NO!!!
    Cute though :)

  • Deidra

    Singing "hummer" time is just a small stroke of brilliance. :)

  • kallaydoscope.com

    This (the mud, hummer, silly pranks) is why I hope to the LORDS that I have boys in here. Or at least one. Boys (in my babysitting, nephew sitting, children watching experience) seem to be a tad easier than girls. Plus, no tampons. I'm a girlie girl, but I also love football and fishing and camping. It would be a blast to have boys to share that with.

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