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Oh my stars and garters, mercy me, was that a hot mess up on the ABC Monday night. Unfortch, I was too busy playing the new lego Harry Potter game on our Wii (because I’m a massive nerd) to watch the Bachelorette. I know, I’m sure everyone is disappointed, but you’re just going to have to find your B’ette fix elsewhere this week. I do know that Ali loves Portugal because it’s “sunny and warm” and there was lots of face sucking and spit swapping and then Ty was sent packing. Happy trails to you, Ty. Hope you find that perfect woman who is ready to stay home and cater to your every whim.
Looks like Ty has some stiff competition for that particular kind of lovely lady after learning more about Jake the Snake. I just caught the replay on ABC.com and I missed a doosey. Like I don’t even know where to start.
First, in all seriousness, I really felt bad for Vienna. I was NOT a Vienna supporter in the least. I was all about Gia, then Tenley. I thought Vienna acted childish at best, malicious at worst. However, I think that Vienna is really a small town girl who might have a few issues of her own with relationships, and truly thought this was going to work out. Delusional? Maybe. But I think she saw herself as a Trista and Ryan or Molly and Jason — famous together, famous for being a couple. I don’t think she anticipated being second fiddle to a man who was clearly seeking fame. She got duped. I mean don’t get me wrong, I’m sure she enjoyed her time in the spotlight and I’m sure most of this stemmed from jealousy on her part. But I still don’t think this was at all what she expected.
Jake is disgusting to me. He was disgusting before; not physically, but something about his behavior — the way he treated the contestants, the thinly veiled insincerity, the really pretty exterior that seemed to have something rotten inside — really bothered me. Let’s be honest here, there’s not one person who signs a Bachelore/tte contract who isn’t ultimately in it for their 15 minutes. So, within that aspect of the show, there are different levels of famewhoring. There’s the legitimate crazies; then the people who are relatively normal and maybe just want a couple episodes on TV for funsies; then models or singers or actresses who hope to make this a springboard for something better; then the people who desire fame so much they will stop at nothing, including lying and destroying real-life, legitimate personal relationships. That’s Jake.
It was gross to me how condescending and mean he was to Vienna. I’m sure she’s not the easiest person to deal with, but honestly, give her a break. She’s not undermining you every time she has a difference in opinion. They told a story about him giving her directions, and then she still got out the GPS, and then he threw it in the backseat. What if she’s bad with directions? That’s not undermining him. Get thee a dictionary, Jake. I hate to say it, but it was borderline emotional abuse — like if he’s going to do that to a girl on national TV who is basically in a fake relationship with him, what’s he going to do to a normal girl he meets at the gym?
It seemed pretty clear to me that he wants a girl who will stand there and look pretty while he does whatever shenanigans will bring him the most fame.
My favorite part of the whole thing was Chris Harrison. Dude works hard for the money and deserves every penny. He’s part pre-school teacher, part therapist, part marriage counselor and part camp counselor. Lots of faces to Chris Harrison. He kicked off the show by saying, “Is this crap going to continue? This he said/she said stuff?” I’m like aw yeah, this is going to be good. Later in the show, Jake and Vienna were having words over whether or not he “made her” leave her dog, and if he did or did not, and Chris, who was completely over them in a very real way, says, “Nobody cares about the dog.” Nobody can get famewhores to shut up faster than Chris B. Harrison, y’all.
So in conclusion, Jake sucks, Vienna sucks a little less, Chris sucks only slightly for being in this mess in the first place, and we only have one non-sucky person in this whole group, as shown on this graph:
Also, I’m officially over Jake and all things Jake related. I hearby announce today, July 7 2010, the last day you’ll ever read about Jake on this blog. I’m done contributing to the mess that is his life. I’m still all about Ali, so you non-Bachelorette readers who have stuck with me through this journey, bless your little hearts, it’ll be over soon.
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"Different levels of famewhoring" That is really a perfect description! Everyone who come on this show, at the very least, think it would be cool to see themselves on TV.
I was never particularly fond of Jake or Vienna. I hope they'll both just go on to lead quiet, private lives. But I doubt it.
Insecurity reigns–my 2nd husband considered having a different idea/opinion about something (much less correcting him if he was, in fact, wrong) to be the height of disrespect. Vienna should be glad she's out of that mess now, run away!!!
I wasn't a Vienna fan, but I felt really bad for her during that interview. She looked like a woman that was emotionally beat down, and I think the interrupting was a stress response. To me, it looked like she had been putting up with Jake's BS for a while and she just wanted a chance to SPEAK, and it all came tumbling out whenever.
Jake kinda reminded me of my ex with all of his condescending talk. I can't believe he actually told her to be quiet while he's talking, like she's a child he needs to scold or something. And what was with all of the talk of undermining and disrespecting him?
(My boss's brother is a pilot and knows Jake, said he's a douche. The guys at work all thought I'd find that scandalous. Um, no, it's pretty apparent, even when he's edited to look *good* for TV…)
I like the chart.
I pretty much feel the same as you after watching that interview. I've always thought Jake was pretty douchey, so that just confirmed it for me.
The only extra thing I thought was that it was BEYOND annoying that he wasn't able to get a word out without her interrupting. I mean, it was annoying to me as a LISTENER of their conversation. But if I were in Vienna's place and everything he was saying was complete bullshit, then I'd be interrupting his ass too. So, it's kinda hard to judge.
Love the graph, of course.
OMG! As soon as Chris Harrison shut down the convo about the dog, I thought he was the coolest. No longer do I consider him the douchey host. Chris rocks.
I have a new found respect for Chris Harrison… how he could sit there and hold his tongue for as long as he did? PROPS dude.
OOOH! Lego HP!?! Is it great? We were looking at it, but hubby ended up putting more money down on the new xbox and kinect stuff >.>
<3
Yay! You know I was waiting for this post! haha I feel the exact same way. I always felt like I didn't exactly like Jake but now I know for sure. Noone deserves to be treated that way, not even Vienna. You could tell that Jake was trying to make it all about him being the good guy but it seems like he did the complete opposite! Bye-bye wings of love!
It was a hot crazy mess. Jake sucks for sure. I liked him fine on Jillian's season, but then didn't like him on his season, liked him even less on DWTS, and after Monday night, I like him a whole lot less than zero– I'm just hoping that negative not liking him doesn't equate to actually liking him because that would just be wrong and gross. He's not a nice guy. I felt bad for Vienna and then I felt bad for Maddie since Chris said nobody cared about her; that's not true, Chris! I cared, Vienna cared, PETA probably cared, too! Nobody cares about YOU, Chris! Speaking of famewhores…
I need to get my hands on this interview.
Team Kip.
Oh, thank goodness!
But are you a Big Brother fan? I'll be watching Matt this season!
Thank the Heavens!! I have never been a Jake fan, ever. Well maybe for .25 seconds before he opened his mouth on the bachelorette (I like me a hot blonde, what can I say). He made me cringe though with his supposed southern charm and 787-sized pilot ego! I hereby declare him the Douchemaster of the Bachelor/ette Douches.
and Vienna can go back to her spring break partying ways, I hope I don't have to see or hear about her every again either. Bleh
Who the f thros a GP?? That's a fight right there and I've never senn that d-bag.
i thought i liked jake until i watched this interview! out of control! i'm definitely team vienna on this one! they're both crazy though!
So…how much longer until this show is over? I'm afraid I'm going to have to plan an intervention.
I didn't see Jake's douchiness coming, honestly. But, there it was on Monday night. I was a little shocked. And although I'm still not sure how much of Vienna's story I believe, I could see what she was saying about Jake, and it made me sad.
My favorite line of the night was Chris Harrison's "nobody cares about the dog." Probably my favorite line in Bachelorette history!
Great chart, as always! I didn't see the interview myself, but the hubs and I caught a little of it on E! News and we were so appalled by Jake's attitude. He is a total douche bag and I really do feel sorry for Vienna. She may be a little crazy but she does not deserve to be treated like he treated her on that show.
My ex-husband was a lot like Jake in that fight-episode (but not as good looking as Jake). He clearly equates trust/respect/the undermining crap with whether or not Vienna has the same opinion as he does. Twisted.
Great tv. bad in life. sadface for V. happy face for your chart.
First of all…the chart is pure gold! Ok…so you know that Vienna was not one of my favorites…I mean I even call her vienna sausage. However, after seeing the interview…I am team Vienna. Jake showed his true colors and it was 5 kinds of crazy bad!
I haven't watched this show since the whole Jason/Molly/Melissa debacle, but reading your recaps have been hilarious! and way better than the actual watching of the show! Just wondering if you saw that there is going to be a Bachelor video game?! oy to the vey…