How me became we: Love on AOL (volume 1)

Today is my third wedding anniversary. Three years ago, on a beautiful, sunny, 75 degree day, my hubby and I stood in front of a crap ton of our friends and family and said our “I dos”. It was pretty much perfect, but the story doesn’t start there.

After the break up with Ball Boy and the terrible date(s) with Gravy Boat, I more or less gave up dating all together. I was having the time of my life in grad school with my best friends. I was learning and growing so much, both academically, emotionally and as a person. I didn’t really have any use for a boyfriend, especially after some of the horrific dates I’d experienced.

Back then, I had AOL. Like the old school AOL with the profile and everything. I mean, for real man, that was our ISP. One night I was working on some class work, or maybe I was just wasting time before going out –I don’t remember — but I got an IM from Hubby. I guess I’d had something about journalism school on my super rad profile because he asked me if I’d had a certain class. As it turned out, we had an online journalism class together about 3 years prior. He was a radio & tv major and I was print. Those two sequences didn’t cross paths because print thought they were better than the other (this is where it becomes clear to you guys that nothing is lamer than journalism students fighting about superiority.)

We chit chatted for awhile and caught up. He had been dating someone then, as had I, so we really didn’t talk much. I remember talking to him quite often through IM and he was always sweet and really respectful — which was a change from all those bar rats I was used to.

Eventually I gave him my phone number. Now remember, I was not in a good place as far as relationships go, and I’m not proud of the way I responded. He would call and I’d either cut the conversation short or not answer. It wasn’t him, it truly was me. He suggested we meet up at one of the summertime hotspots, JoJo’s Barge and Grill and YES it was on a barge. We’re classy up in WV. I always said I would, but it never panned out — probably because I was unintentionally sabotaging the situation.

One weekend that fall, during football season, he left a message for me while I was at work and asked me to go to a movie with him, as friends. He knew that I wasn’t really interested in a relationship, so the friends thing was a perfect “in”. I didn’t get the message until late that night and when I called him back, he was out of town at an away game. He never called me back. Later that week, I talked to him on IM and he told me all about the girl he’d met at the game and the date they had planned. Yuck, it really sort of hurts to even type that, but he had never heard my message from earlier in the weekend and just presumed I was not interested and never would be.

Fail, Amanda, fail.

Life went on and we still chatted quite a bit. He was so kind and nice and I can remember myself thinking….that girl is a lucky girl.

But not that lucky, or maybe it just wasn’t meant to be. Around Thanksgiving Hubby started talking about how he just didn’t feel it with her, how it didn’t feel like it was working out. I still remember that conversation. I told him if he felt that way after two months, how would he feel in two years?

Later that week he told me they had broken up.

The night of New Years Eve, just a few weeks later, some stuff went down with a guy who I thought liked me and it turned out he didn’t. The “stuff” included calling this person and then throwing my phone down when he didn’t’ answer. Repeatedly. After I talked it over with my friends, I made the best New Years Resolution I could possibly have made, one that truly changed my life — I decided if I got another chance with Hubby I’d take it, that I was done with falling for the wrong guys just because I was afraid of something real. I was growing up in a lot of ways and I needed to grow up in relationships, too.

January 17th Hubby asked me to go out to lunch with him. It wasn’t a date, he said, just a friendly lunch. We chose Longhorn Steakhouse at 2 pm — not a lunch, not a dinner — and he was scheduled to work at 4, so there was an end if it was terrible.

Luckily it wasn’t terrible. We met on January 19th, Martin Luther King Day. He was incredibly handsome and charming, and we talked for 2 solid hours. I tried to sneak a picture of him on my picture phone to show my friends. We literally had to pry our butts from the booth so he wouldn’t be too late for work. We’ve gone to a steakhouse every year since then.

A few days later I was working in my teaching assistant office and he just stopped by with a Chick-fil-a sandwich. We decided to meet for dinner after my night class. That evening, a blizzard started. I called him and asked if he wanted to reschedule and he didn’t. He drove about 35 minutes in blinding snow to meet me at Applebees, at like 9 pm. I remember when he walked in, the first thing he said was “is this seat taken?” It was so lame but just so heartwarming and cute to me. I couldn’t stop smiling. After we ate, he brushed the snow off my car and we hugged in the parking lot. I got home and was on cloud 9. The snow was so crisp and beautiful and it just felt like a new start.

After that, we had our first “real” date. Dinner and a movie and then desert because we didn’t want it to end.

It wasn’t long after that date that we became an official couple, and the rest is history.

My husband is my best friend. Nobody can make me smile, laugh, cry (in good ways) or knows me better. He drives me crazy sometimes but when I’m away from him, I miss him. It’s not a perfect relationship, but it’s perfectly wonderful and that’s how love should be.

So to all my bloggy friends out there who are on the hook, who think it won’t ever happen, who are on a dating break, please remember that there’s a reason for all of it — the person you’re supposed to be with just isn’t ready yet.

Hope you all stuck with me, this was quite a saga! It’s my favorite story to tell. Tomorrow I’m going to tell you how he proposed — its’ a goodie.

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28 comments to How me became we: Love on AOL (volume 1)

  • SurferWife

    Like I said yesterday…May is the new June for getting married.

    Happy Anniversary! Saying how he is your best friend made me smile. The surfer and I are the same way. BFF's for life.

  • SmartBear

    I love this story…how I met Hubby is my fav story to tell too. Isn't it amazing how a few rotten boyfriends can make you so jaded? So gald he drove in that blizzard!

  • Salt

    I love this! I love you guys! You are the sweetest couple and I'm so happy that you are procreating. :)

    This was a great story, friend. It made tears come into my eyes. It's amazing how we grow as people and things end up working out for the best in the end.

  • The Step In Mom. . .

    That's sweet. I met my Hubby after I swore off dating. I told myself I wasn't messing with these dumb guys, and I was going to focus on finishing school ect. Then I met him and the rest was history.

    It's so amazing how when something is meant to be, you will get another chance to make it happen, even if you have to drive through a blizzard!

  • Daisygirl

    Happy Anniversary!!!! Pretty cool story actually…kinda laughing at the AOL thing I so remember that!!!
    Being married to your best friend is the bestest!!!

  • My Husband's Watching TV...

    Aww! How sweet and now you two are having a BABY!!! Life doesn't get much better, does it! Congrats!

  • Mandy

    What a nice story, Amanda. Thanks for sharing, and Happy Anniversary to you both!

  • Ian

    I like it – I like it alot

  • KingstonsQueen

    That's so very sweet! Congrats to you and the hubby on your 3rd anniversary!

  • The Random Blogette

    What a sweet story! It is amazing how thing just work out in the end and now you are having a baby! Happy Anniversary!

  • The Only Girl

    awwww . . . I LOVE a happy ending! Can't wait to hear the engagement story. Oh – and need to see a wedding photo please.

  • Aimee

    Aww this is one of the sweetest stories I have read and I am not just saying that. Happy anniversary. It sounds like you guys have a fantastic and REAL relationship. It is important to have your significAnt other be your best friend…I mean theya re the one you spend the most time with right?

    Congrats again!

  • Hutch

    That freakin hook!

    This story warms my frozen heart right to the core :)

    Happy Anniversary!

  • foxy

    I love it! What a great story! And I'm a huge sucker for proposal stories… can't wait!

  • liz

    What a great story! Sweet and funny.

    Things really do work out for a reason.

    Some of our first dates were at Applebee's, and actually the first time I knew he liked me was when he came out on my birthday in the blinding snow. :)

  • tootie

    Happy Anniversary! May of 2008 must be a lucky month – next week is 3 years for my hubby and me :)

  • Bethany

    Happy Anniversary!

    This was so cute. I can see why it's your favorite to tell.

    A few weeks ago I heard an 87 year old man say something to the effect of, "Chasing a girl around Long Island for five years is not a waste of time." When talking about his wife of 57 years. Kind of makes me think of your Hubby; chasing you until you realized that he was a winner.

  • KLZ

    My husband is pretty awesome but even I am jealous of that snow part.

  • Steam Me Up, Kid

    Well that was pretty damn cute. Congrats to the both of you.

  • Katie

    what a fantastic story! driving through a blizzard to meet you for dinner is dedication. :-) happy anniversary!

  • Julie

    I seriously got chills the whole time while reading this! And so glad I did.

    Love the last line "the person you're supposed to be with just isn't ready yet." or as Michael Buble puts it so eloquently… "I just haven't met you yet." <– the belief I'm living on!

    Thanks for a great reminder!

  • Chicken

    Well isn't this just the sweetest story? What a charmer :) I have questions on this "desert" that you speak of…mmhmmm…is that code for nookie?

  • Kelly @ Dare to be Domestic

    I love this!!! I met my last boyfriend via AOL, in a darn chat room of all places. It didn't work out but my current boyfriend and I met on myspace. I'm glad it's not as creepy as it used to be.

    I'm so happy for you girlie! oxox

  • Bumpkin on a Swing

    How sweet, and how real, love your story! It's not always the one you think it's gonna be, but it's always the one it should be! Congrats on your anniversary!

  • Allyson

    So, first of all, I'm reading this in reverse because I just started at the top and am reading down….and actually I like reading it that way. It's like reading the end of really good book first. Not much in the way of suspense, but then I sort of already knew how it was going to turn out.

    Secondly, I'm supposed to be reading one of each person's blogs and then cycling through again. And I can't stop reading the LOVE. I'm going to have to explain to a lot of other people that I couldn't stop reading this in order to read theirs and the whole thing is just going to get ugly. ;) But I see a bad date story coming next so maybe I'll just read one more…

  • Sarah Beth

    I guess I missed this the first time, but I love it! And guess what – I eat at a steakhouse every Jan 19, too…b/c it's my birthday! I like to think that makes me more intricately connected to your life.


    I love this story… it reminds me of how I felt when I first met my hubs. Didn't want to date, the whole nine. I'm glad he was patient with you and that you made that resolution! What a sweet love story. <3

  • Just_Andie

    I must say this made me smile :) I recently broke up with my boyfriend after 3 1/2 years because he wasn't my best friend anymore. This post gave me hope that the "one" is out there somewhere for me.

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