Today is my third wedding anniversary. Three years ago, on a beautiful, sunny, 75 degree day, my hubby and I stood in front of a crap ton of our friends and family and said our “I dos”. It was pretty much perfect, but the story doesn’t start there.
After the break up with Ball Boy and the terrible date(s) with Gravy Boat, I more or less gave up dating all together. I was having the time of my life in grad school with my best friends. I was learning and growing so much, both academically, emotionally and as a person. I didn’t really have any use for a boyfriend, especially after some of the horrific dates I’d experienced.
Back then, I had AOL. Like the old school AOL with the profile and everything. I mean, for real man, that was our ISP. One night I was working on some class work, or maybe I was just wasting time before going out –I don’t remember — but I got an IM from Hubby. I guess I’d had something about journalism school on my super rad profile because he asked me if I’d had a certain class. As it turned out, we had an online journalism class together about 3 years prior. He was a radio & tv major and I was print. Those two sequences didn’t cross paths because print thought they were better than the other (this is where it becomes clear to you guys that nothing is lamer than journalism students fighting about superiority.)
We chit chatted for awhile and caught up. He had been dating someone then, as had I, so we really didn’t talk much. I remember talking to him quite often through IM and he was always sweet and really respectful — which was a change from all those bar rats I was used to.
Eventually I gave him my phone number. Now remember, I was not in a good place as far as relationships go, and I’m not proud of the way I responded. He would call and I’d either cut the conversation short or not answer. It wasn’t him, it truly was me. He suggested we meet up at one of the summertime hotspots, JoJo’s Barge and Grill and YES it was on a barge. We’re classy up in WV. I always said I would, but it never panned out — probably because I was unintentionally sabotaging the situation.
One weekend that fall, during football season, he left a message for me while I was at work and asked me to go to a movie with him, as friends. He knew that I wasn’t really interested in a relationship, so the friends thing was a perfect “in”. I didn’t get the message until late that night and when I called him back, he was out of town at an away game. He never called me back. Later that week, I talked to him on IM and he told me all about the girl he’d met at the game and the date they had planned. Yuck, it really sort of hurts to even type that, but he had never heard my message from earlier in the weekend and just presumed I was not interested and never would be.
Fail, Amanda, fail.
Life went on and we still chatted quite a bit. He was so kind and nice and I can remember myself thinking….that girl is a lucky girl.
But not that lucky, or maybe it just wasn’t meant to be. Around Thanksgiving Hubby started talking about how he just didn’t feel it with her, how it didn’t feel like it was working out. I still remember that conversation. I told him if he felt that way after two months, how would he feel in two years?
Later that week he told me they had broken up.
The night of New Years Eve, just a few weeks later, some stuff went down with a guy who I thought liked me and it turned out he didn’t. The “stuff” included calling this person and then throwing my phone down when he didn’t’ answer. Repeatedly. After I talked it over with my friends, I made the best New Years Resolution I could possibly have made, one that truly changed my life — I decided if I got another chance with Hubby I’d take it, that I was done with falling for the wrong guys just because I was afraid of something real. I was growing up in a lot of ways and I needed to grow up in relationships, too.
January 17th Hubby asked me to go out to lunch with him. It wasn’t a date, he said, just a friendly lunch. We chose Longhorn Steakhouse at 2 pm — not a lunch, not a dinner — and he was scheduled to work at 4, so there was an end if it was terrible.
Luckily it wasn’t terrible. We met on January 19th, Martin Luther King Day. He was incredibly handsome and charming, and we talked for 2 solid hours. I tried to sneak a picture of him on my picture phone to show my friends. We literally had to pry our butts from the booth so he wouldn’t be too late for work. We’ve gone to a steakhouse every year since then.
A few days later I was working in my teaching assistant office and he just stopped by with a Chick-fil-a sandwich. We decided to meet for dinner after my night class. That evening, a blizzard started. I called him and asked if he wanted to reschedule and he didn’t. He drove about 35 minutes in blinding snow to meet me at Applebees, at like 9 pm. I remember when he walked in, the first thing he said was “is this seat taken?” It was so lame but just so heartwarming and cute to me. I couldn’t stop smiling. After we ate, he brushed the snow off my car and we hugged in the parking lot. I got home and was on cloud 9. The snow was so crisp and beautiful and it just felt like a new start.
After that, we had our first “real” date. Dinner and a movie and then desert because we didn’t want it to end.
It wasn’t long after that date that we became an official couple, and the rest is history.
My husband is my best friend. Nobody can make me smile, laugh, cry (in good ways) or knows me better. He drives me crazy sometimes but when I’m away from him, I miss him. It’s not a perfect relationship, but it’s perfectly wonderful and that’s how love should be.
So to all my bloggy friends out there who are on the hook, who think it won’t ever happen, who are on a dating break, please remember that there’s a reason for all of it — the person you’re supposed to be with just isn’t ready yet.
Hope you all stuck with me, this was quite a saga! It’s my favorite story to tell. Tomorrow I’m going to tell you how he proposed — its’ a goodie.