A conversation between me and my Husband.
Scene: We’re laying in bed watching GhostHunters in silence.
Me: You know, I think my favorite kind of Jelly Belly is the hot buttered popcorn.
Hubby: *face palm*
Hubby: That is so random.
Me: It’s not random. I was sitting here thinking about it before I said something to you.
Hubby: Again, what’s not random about that?
Tis my life, y’all.
When I was in grad school I was a teaching assistant. There were about eight of us who entered into indentured servitude for up to two years. In return, we got what equaled out to be $2 an hour, paid tuition and our own office. Which we had to share. Usually only two to three of us had office hours each day. One semester I had office hours with my friend Ali and another grad student whose name I will never forget but I am going to call him E.
E was just a little weird. He was a terrible teacher and just plain mean to his students. The rest of us were all, Whelp! you tried! here is a B for your efforts! But he was hardCORE. I think he gave his whole class Cs just out of pure spite. He held back his thinly veiled hatred of the human race just enough for us to not outwardly hate him, but he let that hate all hang out with his kids. It was truly tragic. For them. And for Ali and I when he was in a particularly bad mood during office hours.
Anyway. One day during office hours, Ali wasn’t able to be there, so it was just E and I hanging out. I got the short end of the stick and taught 8 am classes. I skipped breakfast and was existing solely on the breakfast of champions — coffee.
I said to E, “I sure could use some breakfast right about now. They should provide a continental breakfast for us! ahahah! LOLZ!”
E replied…and I will never till the end of my days forget the way he said it…”I hate continental breakfasts. I hate them.”
*record scratches* Me: E, what do you mean you hate continental breakfasts? What is there to hate?
E: I just do not like them. They are never good. It’s always just coffee and donuts and that’s it.
Me: That’s not ALWAYS true. Sometimes they have awesome breakfasts. You’ve never had a continental breakfast that has, like biscuits and gravy and those waffle machines?
E: Never. I hate continental breakfasts.
This just made me increasingly angry. Like who hates free food? Rich people maybe, and he certainly wasn’t rich or he wouldn’t be participating in the slave labor that was the teaching assistant program.
I thought, maybe he doesn’t realize it’s free.
Me: E, it’s FREE though. I mean, even if it’s nothing but pastries and coffee, you didn’t have to *pay* for them. It’s included in the price of your hotel.
E: I don’t care. I hate it. I would rather pay.
Me: You’d turn down a free meal?
E: Yes. I hate continental breakfasts.
Me: I have to walk away right now.
I am 90% sure he was just trying to instigate because he hated the world, but to this day, every time I see a continental breakfast I say to my Hubby, “Remember E!? And how he HATE continental breakfasts? Well I’m going to take extra pastries JUST TO PROVE HIM WRONG.”
I made some graphs to prove how awesome continental breakfasts are:
See how my anger increases as the price goes up?
Happy Weekend, y’all. Enjoy it and give your Mommy’s extra love on Mother’s Day!